Once Upon A Time An Umbrella
by Tama Anpan
Summary: Summer, autumn, winter and spring to tell the story of a Yato girl, her umbrella and a gaki.
1. Sun

_**Disclaimer: Gintama belongs to Sorachi Hideaki**_

**_Short stories/chapters, within each seasons, that make a whole and tell the 'coming of age' of a certain Yato girl._**

**_Many thanks to Pure Red Crane for the corrections..._**

* * *

**Summer stories, Part One**

_**Sun**_

* * *

It's raining cicadas.

Or rather, they buzz too close to her ear, the right one, the one exposed to their relentless attacks. The left, protected in her palm, doesn't care. It's too hot to do anything else, but she still can't find sleep. The red umbrella planted near her knee makes her inaccessible to the world, its shade covering the delicate and fragile skin, fortunately. No thank you, no way she'll roast like old Housen...

The earth and sun, her paradise and hell.

Slap! A mosquito just died between her other palm and her neck..._Bloody insects-aru!_

Footsteps, someone approaches. She listens cautiously, it's not Megane or he would've already lectured her three times by now and not Gin-chan either, what would he do here at such an hour? Way too soon, she can feel the morning dew on her clothes. Madao then? She exhales a pitiful sigh, remembering there _are_ days when he is richer than her, and _that_ said something about that poor sorry excuse of a job she has. _Useless child, you damn silver trash!_ But internal rambling...shoo...shoo...and Madao smokes. It can't be him or Mayora, although smelly baka nicotine freak would be just that kind of bastard, coming here to try driving her off like the cockroach she's NOT.

_Like hell, I'm the Queen here!_

She throws a glance, boots, and navy blue pants. _Shit!_ She sighs exasperatedly while her precious umbrella moves slightly, revealing a face...No, a smug grin and familiar too, but not in a good way. She waits for the unbearable voice to kick in...Nothing. Finally she deigns to look properly, in fact there's not much choice, he's here in all his disgusting splendor. The asshole gaki.

Her brow furrows, "You want my picture?"

"I'd rather die."

And his grin grows increasingly, _Grrr..._"So fuck off!"

But there he stays, planted before her, his crimson eyes seem to laugh, "I see...Danna finally got expelled?" He pats on the back of the umbrella absently; her poor umbrella that now needs disinfection. "There's a homeless shelter not so far from here you know...for lost dogs. Although...I'm not sure if they take in pork products as well. "

"Bastard piece of trash!"

With a sudden movement she pulls the umbrella to her, ready to kill, and...the sun dazzles her. And does more, she feels it. Burning. She grunts and puts it back in place, so much for the massacre, another day perhaps. She has to take care of her skin and there's no way she'll catch blisters because of him. Standing up, clutching her protector well and firmly, she taps on her back with it, there are also leaves everywhere that caught in her hair, but never mind.

And she does everything possible to ignore the nuisance.

"SADAHARU!"

Casting her eyes around, she scans towards the playground. Nothing. Then near the pond and...Poor thing! Probably suffocating under the thick fluffy fur, he has immersed his big head under water and scared off bystanders.

PLOP. A bubble gum bursts on his lips and he _still_ fixates her, _still_ amused, "You can ignore me all you want China, you're still gonna get fined. Didn't you see the sign at the entrance? No loitering."

"It's a public park, poop-head!"

He stares blankly and keeps chewing on. An idea pops into her mind...a sublime idea and she spits on his boots, "Oops!"

A big, abominable gob! She giggles inside while his head slowly...very, very slowly tilts down and stares at the spot of saliva; glowing, even reflecting the sunlight and...Oh, there are even splashing on the beautiful tax robber shitty uniform. That's when she couldn't hold it in anymore and slaps a hand against her mouth, but he still hears her frantic laughter.

He raises his head, much faster this time, his stupid face shows nothing. This gaki always looks like that, bored. He sighs and scrutinized her as if she were dirt, "Chinaaa..." He takes the handcuffs, "...you're under arrest."

Picking her nose and twirling the handle she retorts, "I'd rather die."

Click. She steps back, he does the same. Blue against red; umbrella against katana; girl against b...man.

She's hungry, but it can wait. Gin-chan wants his milk and _needs_ toilet paper, but it can wait even more. And Megane may groan, but she doesn't care. The only problem is...the damn sun. She steals a quick glance, no clouds and there probably won't be for the whole day. _Shit, shit, sh-_

"Let's go find shelter...or we're gonna be here until evening."

She throws him a dark glare, filled with surprise and suspicion and her grip tightens around her precious weapon, "What's the catch?"

His crimson eyes narrow slightly, it's rare, usually he doesn't give a shit about her comfort, "I want to kick your ass fair and square... and can't stand your pre-period whining."

_Grrr...That shithead!_ "If you think you can order me around you're even more of a baka than I thought!"

He doesn't care and starts walking towards the large trees not far from the fountain, and while doing so his arm slightly brushes her sleeve. She freezes for a second. The asshole does that a lot lately and she's not a thirteen years old baka anymore, she gets the drift. And now, kicking ass is not an option...she _will_ break a bone or two today. But he still doesn't care and walks, confident, on guard...and so maddeningly calm, "Hurry up, I'm busy."

"Bakufu dog."

The ultimate insult. The tax robbers may not look like they give a shit, but she knows, Gin-chan too, that _that_ stings. But she follows all the same, not because he ordered it, but for the simple and excellent reason that his bishounen head has already been attached for too many years on those arrogant shoulders. And Edo, no...the whole earth, no...the universe will be better off if this guy is cut in half. And also, _she_ will feel better, because it means there's no way she's gonna lose today.

And she wins.


	2. Lonely man

**Summer Stories, Part Two**

_**Lonely Man**_

* * *

There are some strange things in the existence of a man. Winning at pachinko and losing everything the next day. Finding a job and losing it the next day. Getting drunk one night with Gin-san and finishing in a kennel the next day...

The life of a MADAO.

There are also strange connections; like between sunglasses and an umbrella. Both offer protection against the sun...and life. It's a cover, a shelter.

Because before becoming a MADAO, the man was above all a sunglasses man. And behind the umbrella there is a girl, the one who sealed his fate by giving him a cursed name. This is why he feels this connection, it may be superficial, but...the man knows it's not.

For a few weeks, he observes. Since the beginning of the summer, they fight...out of sight, under the leaves. Nothing new in fact, it has been some years now that they have been doing this and if the sunglasses man was often left dismayed when the two tornadoes destroyed the park a good hundred times, he got used to them and the destroyed area. But now they are more grown up and total destruction of public property has lost its charm, thus they focus on their mutual annihilation.

This is routine.

Until one day, when he sees something in the eyes of that young man, something the girl doesn't see or pretends not to. Her back was facing him at that time, she's calling her monster dog, and they just finished their fight. It's only a flash in the eyes, a fleeting moment...an almost predatory look and yet soft at the same time. But it's gone as soon as she turns to glare at him, throwing an insult probably. And the sunglasses man recognizes that look...because he knows what it's like to be twenty.

A few days later, after pachinko and while drinking with the silver ronin, it escapes him...

"Ah...yes, the park...every day..."

MADAO knows that nothing ever happens, other than the clashes between umbrella and katana...and yet it escapes his lips. Gin-san seems to not care...and moves on.

But the following week, the boy in uniform does not come. And she waits. Sitting on a bench, the sun killing everything all around them, burning grass and bushes, she's waiting under the shade of an umbrella. Her white monster plays not so far away, carefree, busy catching imaginary fishes in the fountain and scaring children, comes from time to time to be petted, and then searching again for other adventures at the far end of the park. She waits.

He does not come, he will not come anymore.

That day she waited all afternoon, the sunglasses man knows because he had time to take a long nap, go do his part-time job, win at pachinko and return to the park in the evening, finally able to drink a nice cold beer.

The next day she comes back, but does not sit on the bench, she plays with her dog, eats an ice cream...and leaves. He knows that they continue to fight, but not as often and never here. Never alone, out of sight, and sheltered under the trees.

Everything is as before, sometimes she bothers him with her brazen comments. "MADAO failed his interview again...MADAO's still lagging here with nothing to do...MADAO lost at pachinko again..."

It does not bother him, he is used to it.

A few weeks pass, and at a new drunken evening with Gin-san he asks, without much conviction, but still curious and the silver ronin is still as usual, with his nonchalant self and dead fish eyes, he replies noncommittally.

"Kagura is not a girl of half-assed feelings..."

MADAO asks also if the boy is that kind. Gin-chan shrugs, "I don't know...I haven't even had time to say anything..._'Dannaaa...I get it. And I need my balls...so stop threatening 'em with that wooden thing! And...don't worry, I _really_ get it...'_"

The man does not know what to say and simply gives the other a smile, "Boys will be boys!" And anyway, Gin-san seems to not care again, even if it's not true...Gin-san is a father.

Maybe the sunglasses man feels sorry having interfered, perhaps the girl with the umbrella should have burnt her wings at the boy's contact, if not her skin. Maybe that's what is supposed to happen. But nothing can't prevent the reflexes of a MADAO or a Gin-san or a Megane and especially not a Papi lost in space.

Being father.

That day, Hasegawa-san sheds a small tear, because the girl with the umbrella reminds him the child he never had with the woman he lost.


	3. Reflection

**-CAMEO and ShiroTame**_**: thanks! and yes... Hasagawa-san NEEDS to pull himself together and get his wife back... sigh.**_

_**-On a side note, Sou-chan may think about it (a lot)... things may even happen... but the rating won't change**_

* * *

___Nausicaä _is the heroine of the anime '_Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind_ _'__ by Hayao __Miyazaki _

* * *

**Summer Stories, Part Three**

_**Reflexion**_

* * *

He twirls the thin stick between his fingers, bored and...preoccupied. "I'm dying of heat here, wasn't yours repaired?"

"No and they're all broken, so leave...And what're you doing here in the first place? Don't you have stuff to do?"

"Except for pissing you off. No."

An annoyed snort and a grunt...whatever. Hijikata also sighs of irritation, heat or fatigue and goes on with his silly scribbling. _All_ the air conditioners from _all_ rooms across the barracks are down...and this is the last straw. Finding himself in this room with Mayo freak, playing with that stupid thing.

He waits. Casting quick glances at the other, until Fukuchou finally takes the cup in his hand...and drinks its content._ Now..._

"Did you ever get laid with someone you liked?"

Sure enough, the giant spit was gigantic. Raining on official papers, 'important' as they say, reports and other nonsense, even a special one from the old geezer...all ruined by tea and Mayora's disgusting saliva. And that's just worth it, having waited all those minutes here, and now he's busy wiping his shit, swearing and flapping. Hijikata-san is so predictable.

"You did that on purpose, right? You little shit."

"You know me."

And Hijitaka doesn't respond, as expected, but Sougo doesn't care anyway, he knows the answer. No, and probably never will. Fukuchou will die faithful to his feelings, as the baka samurai he is with his baka principles. That didn't stop him from being an asshole with her though and doing others shit he's not proud of. He's far from being a virgin, like everyone here except of course Yamazaki and Kondo-san is not really lucky in that area either, but over the past few years, Hijikata has become a total celibate freak and surprisingly less...detestable. Maybe it's what they call growing up and al-

_(OI! -*Sigh* What now Sou-kun? -What d'you think you're doing? -Huh, writing? -No, that other fucked up shit...the aniki-friendly conversion that's bound to happen with that bastard - Well...yes, but...what's the problem? -After all the dirty things you wrote about us...and now that? Character assassination much? ...Neh, that requires punishment *lashing whip* -You're so moody... that time of the month Okita-kun? And get with the program gaki, you're both straight in this story- I hate inconsistent people too -I'M NOT! *evil grin* don't worry the threesome is com- *BEEPBEEEEEEP... KABOOM!*...)_

"We aren't having this conversation..."

"Of course we are."

"Just...just go ask Kondo-san if you want...a-advises..." Sougo throws him a quizzical look. Mayora is distressed obviously, "...Argh...Harada...Harada is married!" and blushing. Seriously, a grown man?

"Hijikata-saaan...what did you smoke? I don't want advises..." But he isn't listening, "...Yorozuya, yeah, yeah... ask him..." still sponging and pissed now.

_Ask Danna...that's just the greatest idea ever_. He snorts, glaring one last time at Fukuchou, and lays on his back and twirling and thinking some more...

"Just forget it..." And Hijikata says nothing for a while.

_Just. Forget. It..._Where did he pick up that thing anyway?

Hijikata-san made a choice long time ago and sticks with it, for the better and the worse. Kondo-san is _willing_ and _able_ to marry, for the better and the she-gorilla. So where does _he_ fit into that?

Him, the hitokiri of the Shinsengumi, although nobody says it aloud.

"No." Sougo is snapped off dreamland and looks aside, the bastard still has his head bent over the mess in front of him, wiping everything and saving what can be. It's surprising that he replies at all and even more when he asks, "You?"

_Well..._

"No..." He turns his attention to the stupid toy again, "...not yet. Probably never." And he gets up suddenly, taking his katana.

_There's no point...Just forget it._

Hijikata doesn't look and doesn't see, but he takes the opportunity to quietly leave the object on the table. There no point in keeping this any longer, but he can't throw it away...that's why he leaves it here, Fukuchou is a bastard addict freak, but can also be useful at cleaning messes. His and others.

And he's only reached the end of the engawa before said mister-clean yells, rather noisily, "WHAT D'YOU PUT IN THAT TEA...OI OKITA...COME BACK HERE..."

He slaps a palm on his forehead, shaking his head in disbelief, _Baka me...of course the laxative_.

Late, very late that evening Sougo returns from patrol, his mind still restless, but now he is able to sleep. There's a strange gathering around the toilet door with a supremely concerned and crying Kondo-san, "What? You mean we've been invaded by the bacteria again? Toshi is stuck in it...that's it...right, right?"

"No, I reckon he's trying to pass the time."

"How?"

"He thinks he's Nausicaä...nobody dares to enter since this morning."

"Is that true? TOSHI...HANG IN HERE!"

A moron adds airily, "Fukuchou _is_ Nausicaä..."

But a roar erupts from the darkness of the Toxic Jungle, "JUST BRING ME THE DAMN KAMI (PAPER)...MORONS!"

Sougo slaps a palm on his forehead, smiling widely, _Baka me...of course I hid them earlier, all of them_. "Well, I'm off," and waving a hand absently, he sets his eyes on Mayora's room...

"OKITAAA, YOU BASTAAARD...PREPARE FOR YOUR SEPPUKU...! WITH A WOODEN KNIFE...! I SWEAR ON EVERY KAMI (GODS) OF THE UNIVERSE...D'YOU HEAR ME YOU DAMN ASSHOLE!"

"Kyokuchou...Nausicaä wouldn't curse that much."

But Sougo isn't there, nor listening either. The desk is still untouched, as messy as when he left it, with papers now dried and the old geezer 'special request' and the files about Katsura and...it's there too.

A stupid cocktail umbrella. A red umbrella.

He stares blankly, for a long, long time, hands shoved in his pockets. Although not superstitious, he still can't bring himself to take the item...an item because he made a mark on it yesterday, with his dark ink. A simple dot.

"Hijikata-san, that's your fault...you were supposed to clean my messy head..."

When the Oni no Fukuchou finally comes back in his quarter later that night, he'll hardly have the energy to be angry anymore. His desk is a mess, the air conditioner is down, Gorilla is a moron and he needs a bath. He doesn't notice the absence of that strange object that in his absence has looked over his precious papers and protected them from wind and insects and Shinsengumi morons.

A stupid red umbrella.


	4. Wind

_Kyōgen: Comic theater play with slapstick parts._

* * *

**Summer Stories, Part Four**

_**Wind**_

* * *

"You're slacking again."

"I am. So shoot me."

"Pfft…"

Turning on her heels she leaves him behind.

She has an ice cream to eat and Sadaharu to check on. Gin-chan gave him rotten kibbles this morning, picking the wrong box because his vision was blurred from a massive hangover. Of course a monumental argument followed with the violently shutting and opening slid doors, shouts and all. It's worse than a very bad Kyōgen. When she left with yet another insult, Megane was throwing the object of the crime in the garbage and still yelling after Gin-chan, although it was kind of useless because that silver trash bum was pretty much back to coma after the black eye she had offered as a departure gift. And now Sadarahu is sick, his fluffy face all green, and pooping all over the park. Fortunately there aren't many people yet, even for a Saturday.

And the gaki is here too, as if coming on purpose just to piss her off at the worst time. Why is he here anyway? It's been weeks since he has showed his shitty face. In _her_ park.

"It's the last day of summer."

She turns to shoot him a dark look filled with disdain, a specialty of hers, "If you're looking for a new job, weather boy is perfect for you. Congratulations. Now get lost...you're polluting the atmosphere-aru."

"You're always so poetic, Chinaaa. Where did you learn that? Sewer or dump?"

"Go to hell!"

But there's no way and he follows her like the dog he is and it irritates the hell of her for many reasons and even more if she ever deigns to look deeper into her mind.

"It's a tie...we need a winner."

She pauses, her hand gripping the handle. He lied and he knows it; the score is 12-9. She's winning; she has won anyway, even if they'll fight today. But again he doesn't care and she watches him heading to the trees...to _their_ place.

_Bastard gaki._

_**o-o-o**_

His shoelace was undone and he crouched to tie it, taking his sweet time. Mind games, surely. She leaned against her tree and planted her umbrella beside her. He didn't move after that, still crouched, and also leaned back on his tree. And now she waits.

They've been waiting for kami-sama knows how long. She sighs...no effect; he's absorbed by something on the grass, maybe some oak nut, funny because that's a camphor tree...She looks around..._Oi...Pedoro-aru? Totoro-aru?_

The minutes pass and she wonders what he's thinking and what she's doing...and it's getting weird and tense. Why does he stay so quiet and why doesn't she say anything either? Standing there like a baka weak-minded girl, nails scraping the rough bark, looking everywhere but a fixed point. There is a slight breeze that makes the leaves move, an appeasing sound and that helps, she talks finally.

"If you're constipated we can postpone...I also want to kick your ass fair and square."

Eyes rolling, but just hardly, and nothing else. A wall. And her irritation grows and grows and...That's it! Too much OOCness for her, she throws in the towel...But _no,_ there is no way, she never does that. Fine, let's give it another five minutes and then she'll leave, victorious no matter what. But he's still lost in his thoughts or contemplating that stupid oak nut and she decides to observe. While doing so it becomes clear that there's nothing surprising as to why she followed him. There is _something_...for quite some time now and even if she tries her best to push those thoughts in the depths of her skull, it's here. Just before her eyes, the great unknown.

Attraction.

And it's eating her that it has to be him, the sadistic tax robber that's so full of himself, of all people, that can make her speechless just like that. She could've ended that nonsense after he stopped coming here, but no. She peeks discretely, his face became more masculine over the four years she has known him, no doubt about that, and if his body hasn't really changed, it's much more defined now. She's used to living around men, always has, and not much surprises or impresses her anymore. But him...he's a contradiction. A self-proclaimed and proud to be sadist, who controls by whipping and chaining his masochistic conquests, treats them like sub-shits, and at the same time a guy willing to smear his reputation and sacrifice his life for a girl ready to kill for revenge.

_Oi... What the hell am I thinking-aru...? Shoo...shoo. He's an asshole, period._

With nice hands and those eyes..._Stop!_ Quickly she looks away, but too late, he catches her stare and...that's it.

Her heart skips a beat, and then restarts faster...

_This is happening_.

He stands and looks pissed, and she should just punch him right now. He approaches and her fingers are scratching the tree, her palms are moist, her cheeks colored and soon it's all red, red, red...red eyes on her like never before. He pauses for one instant and she can tell that he isn't pissed. He is...

Conflicted.

And leans slowly, but stops again before being to close, eyes agitated, as if deciding whether or not he would do it. At that distance she sees everything; a tiny scar on the left cheek, near the jaw. It's a sword scar. The irises that are a blend of crimson and brown, and here under the shade of the camphor tree they are also dark, almost black. And how some locks of hair are caught in his eyelashes when he blinks, like just...now..._This is happening. _And that stupid heart that races...

Another wave passes through the leaves far above them and that singing sound calls her, a reflex, she looks up. And it happens.

Eyes closed. It's not her first kiss, one of the boys she met in Kabukicho had done it with her, but when he tried to push his tongue inside her precious mouth he ended up at the hospital. And no other boys dared to ask her out since then. Gin-chan sported a stupid satisfied smile that day. _Baka_. And she was reduced to train with the back of her hand which was just pitiful. But now...she won't beat the crap out of him, not yet. And he does it, the tongue thing and she lets him.

She doesn't like it. She _thinks_ she doesn't like it.

But there are other details, like how they don't touch except _there,_ but it seems as if they are because his warmth is so intense it's all around her. She doesn't like the saliva exchange, but he has laid his hand near her ear, resting on the bark and the sleeve tickle her hair, she can hear his fingers also scratching lightly the rough surface. Same as her, with hands still behind her back.

And now slowly, but surely, it burns. From tip to toes and where she never thought it would, because some parts are just supposed to be only useful for other things, like bodily functions...right? And the feeling is sinking in, enthralling and she realizes she likes everything about it...

And he stops. And why? They're in the middle of an experiment here! What kind of coward is he to stop now!? But her thoughts go numb the second she sees those eyes again because they are tempestuous. Very so. Steady also, like when he's fighting...and again that strange contradiction.

"Well...that didn't solve anything..." His voice is also different from usual, but impossible right now to tell _what_ is changed exactly.

_Of course not, 12-10..._ "Ippon...asshole. I won, you lost."

There's a flicker of surprise and then that smug grin appears again, "You got that right...I am an asshole...and I lost."

But she isn't listening, occupied staring elsewhere, at those lips and he gets it and they kiss again. This time he comes closer and his other palm is burning against her side, just near her breast. _If that hand moves, I'll maim him_. But it doesn't and her own moves slowly to rest between the shoulder and the neck, where she can feel the fabric of the uniform and his skin too, brushing it with the tip of the fingers.

Still burning and more hectic, her mind is getting lost too...but that's when she or he bumps into her umbrella and it falls on the ground. That soft sound also calls her and her wits come back. She stops and guesses it without knowing, just looking at him is enough, and it can't be anything else...those crimson eyes and what they lust for. He told her once that they weren't dogs, but wolves...and now she can feel it, although shouldn't, has no reason to, she is a Yato and stronger than him. They both know this, and yet she feels it...

Fear.

Another reflex, her hand lightly pushes his chest, it's burning there too, and it works. He steps back shutting his eyelids and when the crimson irises look at her a second after it's all gone. A wall again. And smugness everywhere, but she can't help staring like he is another man...Until...

CLICK.

She freezes and tilts her head down to see the handcuffs.

"I told you...no loitering."

"GRRRR..."

That late morning, Kabukicho public properties receive the divine retribution they escaped for too long. Sadaharu, although still greenish, mourns his fountain, children in their playground and MADAO at his bench. Total destruction and mutual annihilation indeed. And this time the sunglasses man will keep it for himself, because there is no point. Boys will be boys and bottomless freaks will break bones. And anyway, that young man is no sun, she may get burned, absolutely will, but it won't kill her. That's what first loves do most of the time, right? Give you scars, pains and other things, precious ones. But they don't destroy you...

They make you stronger.

_End of Summer Stories_


	5. OoS: Ignorance Is Bliss

_**Thanks for the reviews, CAMEO, 8ouji-Rui, Anon and Gabiii... glad you liked the last chapter.**_

_**'Out of season' are one-shots related to the main story. This one is very very short, set a year before.**_

* * *

**Out Of Season **

**Ignorance Is Bliss**

* * *

Falling.

Never happened to me...

_Is that right?_

Of course! Who would be baka enough to do that, consciously or not? Gorilla…what the hell? Please spare me. Humiliated, beat up, depressed people are the most enjoyable sight, BUT for some reason, MY ego can't take it.

MY mentor, MY aniki, MY Commander...you're no match for her. Flat out dominated.

Shimura Tae.

"Kondo-saan...I don't think it's gonna work. Remember last time?"

Ten days at the hospital...TEN dreadful days having the mayorin as Commander...And now I need to throw up...

"Sougo, it's my chance...now or never!"

_Never, got that right._

"You said that last time too-" Kondo-san is a great man and a great moron. "-Let's go for lunch already."

Falling in love with a she-gorilla. That will absolutely never happen to me.

Falling in love, period, will never...ever...ever...

"Oi, whatcha doing, Peeping Tom wannabe?"

NEVER.

"Chinaa... long-time no see. Miss me?"

**BAM!**

Kondo-san is knocked out...what an unforeseen conclusion.

"Ooh...the beggars are out."

"Shinpachi...d'you hear that? Can I smash his head on the dojo floor?"

"Okita-san, have you trespassed on my property to pick him up?"

"Hmm...I wish you would have waited...this guy's supposed to buy me lunch."

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! AND TAKE THE ZOO ESCAPEE PIECE OF STALKER TRASH WITH YOU!"

The Shimura family...a she-gorilla and a frustrated virgin Four Eyes.

"Fine, I'm just gonna pick his wallet then."

"OI! YOU SADIST BASTARD, DON'T LEAVE HIM HEEEEERE!"

"No need to worry, Hijikata-san will do the dirty job and dispose of the trash..."

Should I? Yes...No? Make up your mind already.

"...That means...you're also going back home...meaning the dump. Brace yourself."

She blinks, that childish blue disappears...Hey! Do something.

"You. Dump. Home...got it?"

_Never._

Whoa! No reaction...at all...and with that color. Red.

Red umbrella. Purple...gone.

"Oi..."

"Pfft...So immature!"

There she is, gone too.

I fell from a tree once; Kondo-san picked me up and tended to my wrist. I couldn't hold a shinai for weeks; it made me so angry and lose control. Harassing Hijikata-san wasn't even funny anymore.

Not being able to do what I wanted the most in the world were desperate times. Bitter memories, bad taste.

Not knowing what falling feels is like bliss.

Falling is not enjoyable. Not in the least.

_Never..._

_Ever..._


	6. Breaking

**Autumn Stories, Part One**

_**Breaking**_

* * *

Stolen kisses...

"Sadistic dog shit bastard!"

...That's what they've been doing since that fateful summer day...

"Illegal freak piece of trash."

...Not much talking. No planning at all, only when they meet occasionally, often by chance and never in that park. They have been banned after the _incident_.

She spits her sukonbu on the dirt, "I'm not illegal anymore! Primitive tax robber."

A light smirk curves his lips, lips she shouldn't be glancing at now...people are here, Megane is here. People everywhere, busy all over Kabukicho most crowed street _ever_...Did she mention it was full of people? "Colorful choice of words...coming from a barbarian."

_Don't look at me like that, asshole._

"Are you two done yet?" She can almost hear Shinpachi's eyes rolling and he doesn't even bother try to be preachy anymore; busy carefully choosing vegetables like the good housewife he is, not paying them more attention than necessary, in his opinion. Thankfully.

Because the gaki keeps staring with his piercing red orbs and maybe that's the reason she's annoyed. Red is her favorite color. She feels her cheeks pink up, this is the part she hadn't expected, how it affects her, how she relived that first kiss over and over again during that sleepless night. It wasn't that important, but it happened nonetheless. The whole week in fact, not sleeping well and that stupid imagination going wild. This _wasn't_ expected and highly repellent, no...unacceptable. Shameful.

And it can't be simple, can it? She doesn't know how that whole teenage hormones thing works entirely, but no need for a diploma to figure it out and it's tiresome how she's slowly going demented with all that thinking. _Experiment my *BEEP*! _She's feeling something she has never felt before; whether it's a good or bad sensation, she doesn't know. And that is irritating too. Because this guy is like a cyclone, you can't help but look, you're drawn to it, even knowing it's a bad idea and that getting to close will crush you. And yet that asshole is also so...so...soothing, in a way. When she's in his arms.

_He doesn't even like me._

"Oi Megane...Mommy wants to go home."

That's enough, swirling on herself she watches her human brother paying the bill. Gin-chan won at pachinko yesterday and thanks to Megane's bullying they'll be able to eat nice meals for the rest of the week, avoiding Anego's cooking in the process.

"Kagura-chan, d'you realize how ridiculous it sounds for a sixteen year old to speak like th-"

"Seventeen."

He glances at her unimpressed, "Sixteen."

"Two months left...I'm seventeen at heart." _Shinpachi doesn't understand a woman's mind._

He sighs, struggling with the bags. He made sure every yen has been spent for a useful purpose and. No, sukonbu wasn't included, "Whatever...Oi, could you help here a bit, please?" She won't. _Shinpachi doesn't understand a Yato's stomach._

"Seventeen...?"

She peeks over her shoulder, still here leaning lazily against a post, arms crossed, with questioning eyes.

"Got a problem with that?"

"Me? No..."

Why is he here anyway? Ah! Mayora and his disgusting addiction. How much time does he need to buy that thing? She glances angrily in his direction and apparently he and Gin-chan are jousting before the cashier over who was first. And people are already leaving the store. Now that her silver ward is dangerously waving his Jump at the other's face. Typical.

"Hurry up, Megane!"

She leaves, walking fast, because there's no sun and no reason to open her umbrella to shield herself from an unwanted stare, a crimson, complex stare. Not seeing that shitty face is almost vital right now.

"Oi...OI! KAGURA-CHAN...Help me...DAMMIT!"

She has to end this silliness.

_I don't even like him._

_**o-o-o**_

"I have had enough of your microbes in me to get sick for a year."

When Megane finally caught her, panting and sweating and lecturing that she already had made up her mind. And left him here in the middle of the street shouting empty threats..._She_, deprived of sukonbu for two days? Like hell that would happen!

"I don't recall you being that bothered during the microbes...exchange."

"I think I got a heatstroke that day."

"And the other days?"

"Sunstroke."

He shrugs, unmoved, "All right, your call."

_So that's it? A shrug?_ Mayora and Gin-chan are yelling at each other again, Jump and cigarettes in shreds on the counter. Gin-chan is such a man-child. She sighs; something _is_ bothering her, that's true, even if they're both calm and civilized, and not punching or insulting.

What bothers her is that she's avoiding eye contact and he's not.

She needs to fill the blanks invading her mind quickly, "I guess that's just something that was bound to happen...I mean...between a guy and a girl...giving all the fighting and stuff..."

His voice is clearly sharper than usual, underneath that unbearable nonchalance, "And _what_ exactly happened?"

But she doesn't want to think about that, "Curiosity..."

She finally dares a glance. The wall again, unreadable, "Ah...well...guess I'll see you around. Time for my re-runs."

"What about your job lazy slacker?"

He doesn't answer nor looks back, hands in his pockets. Apparently the pitiful display in the store got on his nerve too, only one second there and the sadist smashes the two empty heads together...aaand...flesh contact, no...lip contact. Ouch! Poor Gin-chan, now he's puking his parfait and baka Mayora is...wow, how much more heinous can you look? And shocked too. But the gaki's already left, like a cat, unseen. And nicotine freak runs after his shadow, "YOU'RE DEAD...! NOW I'LL CATCH DIABETES...OR WORSE...SOUGO!"

That went well; more than well...actually it went incredibly well, satisfactorily satisfying, right? And she'll be able to torture Gin-chan endlessly after that...Perfect...

_Stupid gaki._


	7. Definition

_Yojimbo: bodyguard_

_Bushi: warrior_

_Odango: Hairstyle with double buns_

* * *

**Autumn Stories, Part Two**

_**Definition**_

* * *

_Harassment: The act of systematic and/or continued unwanted and annoying actions of one party or a group, including threats and demands._

"Gin-san, get up! It's noon!"

"GIN-CHAAAN! MOMMY'S HUNGRYYY!"

"Gintoki! You still owe me this month's rent...and last month's too...don't you have any self-respect? Even last year's rent..." She exhales her umpteenth smoky fog in his direction, "Besides, Tama is doing a better job than you as yojimbo. You got serious concurrence..."

"Gin-san...when are you going to pay a decent salary to your employees? You _know_ I'm the leader of the KCHLU (Kabukicho Cabaret Hostesses Labor Union) and...Oh! I've also been re-elected as a Deva, in fact I'm the Queen of Kabukicho...Just so you know, Shin-chan may worship you, but I don't."

"Gin-san! Take me...whip me...hit me! I know you love it too...We're a match made in SM heaven..."

"ZURA JA NAI, KATSURA DA! Gintoki, there's a path that a bushi should never take...laziness. How long are you going to indulge in that nonconstructive low life of yours?"

That's when he thought this day couldn't get any worse.

**_o-o-o_**

He was wrong.

_Police misconduct: Inappropriate actions taken by police officers in connection with their official duties can lead to a miscarriage of justice and sometimes involves discrimination._

"What's that?"

"A restraining order."

He eyes the other suspiciously, then the paper, then the crow again. If a single glare could transform you into ice, then those arctic blue orbs would do the job just fine.

"Mah...finally got the hint I don't want to see your face anymore, Mayora...Good. As they say better later than nev-" The paper is suddenly pressed on his rib cage.

"It's a restraining order against YOU...don't go near ME...EVER AGAIN...you damn perm head!"

And Hijikata punctuates each word with a shove, but the paper only remains on Gintoki's chest a second, then falls on the wet ground. There is no way he will ever take Shinsengumi's trash in his mighty hands. "That's my line...! YOU molested Gin-san's sugar-lips with that...that...Oh no! I'm sick again."

"DON'T THROW UP ON MY SHOES BASTARD!" The tax robber steps back quickly, "D'ya know how many blood tests I went through? If mononucleosis comes positive I'll strangle you!"

"Oi, oi, oi...d'ya know how many toothpaste tubes I used? My gums are still bleeding!"

"Tch! As if I give a shit!" And he really doesn't, apparently, turning on his heels and leaving to bully other citizens, "And one more thing...keep China girl away from that park, I already told her that she and that monster dog were banned...or she'll get one too!"

_Banned? Park?_

"What?! Why? Oi bastard Mayora...COME BACK...HIJIKATA-KUN...WHAT HAPPENED...? WHAT DID SHE DO...? HOW MUCH IT'LL COST? OIIII!"

**_o-o-o_**

_Misunderstanding: A failure to understand or interpret correctly._

"Shinpachi...why didn't you tell me?"

"She told you!"

"When?"

"She told me she told you."

"So you don't even know IF she told me?"

"She said she told you and you nodded and stayed quiet and nothing else..."

"Megane...she didn't tell me because I didn't HEAR it!"

"That's your fault."

"I WAS NAPPING!"

"Probably."

"That's all you have to say? We're in a critically bad situation here and you, the straight character, don't give a shit!"

"What you're talking about, Gin-san? There's nothing critically bad happening here except you keep throwing a fit for nothing."

"SHE LIED!"

"SHE DIDN'T! YOU WEREN'T LISTENING!"

"Argh...Megane...Those bastards are gonna send ME the bill..."

"What bill? Are you on sugar high again?"

"THE BILL FOR THE REPARATIONS OF THAT DAMN PARK...! ARE YOU TRYING TO PISS ME OFF ON PURPOSE?!"

"Oh, that...well Kagura-chan said it had been taken care of...Kondo-san I think...Oi...Gin-san where are y-"

**_o-o-o_**

_Stalk: To follow and/or observe a person persistently, especially out of obsession or derangement._

"Gorilla, about that park...what's the catch? Tax robber underhanded trick, isn't it? Just spill."

"Ha! Hahaha...Yo...Yorozuya...I was just...just...passing in the neighborhood...duty!"

"You're losing your time, she's hiding her panties elsewhere...The park. The bill. Talk."

"Wha'? HOW D'YOU KNOW THAT? I looked everywh...err...no, I mean...that's not...PLEASE DON'T TELL HER!"

"The destroyed park. Talk and I'll keep quiet. Why haven't you guys sent me the bill yet? Its Mayora sick perverted idea of torturing me, right? He finally turned sadist, right? I fucking knew it, bastard nicotine freak!"

"Park? What park...oh! _That_ park...well this is, this is...the bill is paid. You don't have to worry about that."

"Oi, why are you embarrassed all of a sudden? Gorilla...why you...? Oi...! Did...did your _other_ resident sadist have a hand in the demolishing?"

"Err...that's not...well...wait, Yorozuya? Where are you...? OI! AT LEAST TELL ME WHERE SHE HIDES THEM!"

**_o-o-o_**

There he is, alone, asleep on that reclusive bench.

It's uncanny how that little shit is able to blend in the landscape even with that awful mask and that even more awful uniform. Got to give him some credit, the bastard can hide from almost everybody when he wants to, mainly for napping or slacking. Gintoki recognized that sort of skill because he, himself, craves to achieve that goal...escapism. And it's almost physically painful to admit that Souichiro-kun is better than him at that sort of sport, better than anyone in fact. Because Souichiro isn't harassed or stalked or the victim of police brutality. He is the harasser, the stalker and the brutal policeman.

And only at age twenty something.

_Twenty_.

"You really don't care that much about your balls, do you?"

A light movement of the head, nothing else, "Dannaa...long time no see."

Somehow that attitude means Okita knows why he's here, why they're going to have that unpleasant conversion and it also means his damn instincts were right. _Something_ happened. He tries, very hard, to restrain his blatant urge of throwing a punch and chooses the sentimental angle.

"Lies between friends are an ugly thing."

A sigh, then the kid actually sits, pushing up the creepy mask, "Well...I'm an asshole...What did you expect?"

"Okita-kuuun...tell me something that I don't know."

"She's not bad on the eyes. And I'm just a guy."

More to his credit, the sadist doesn't even blink when the Lake Toya pressures his Adam's apple, "That's it, you're mincemeat."

Wine red facing crimson. "She may be still fourteen in _your_ eyes...but you've g-"

"It's Gintama! Of course she'll remain fourteen until the end of time...and Gin-san's sidekick forever and all the shitheads who try to lay a hand on her will face the Baldi-Shiroyasha's wrath...its writing in the sky...So shall be the story of Kagura the Yato: no illicit sexual relations."

They don't move and Okita isn't even trying to draw, "Good luck with that."

"I recall a giant prick turning gay and a brainless baka boy licking his wounds in a hospital room."

_Ah! _Finally some emotion in those sick eyes..._Wait! Is that...boredom again?_

"Curiosity." The sadist pushes his bokken away and massages his throat.

"What?"

"It was 'curiosity'...and it's over. No, correction; it was over before it started."

He tightens his grip firmly, "Over...? Started? Oi, Souichiro-kun...you're making Gin-san's blood boil!" But the other doesn't give a crap and pulls a Mayora move...he flees!

"It's Sougo. Danna, if your perverted lolicon mind wants details, ask her...I'm done here. Nothing happened."

_Bastard! _"Not so fast kiddo!" He still has questions and talking to do, or most likely some beating to perform. His hands grab the collar, shaking the neat uniform, but the other is still apathetically placid. Almost waiting for the punch that never came.

"My sister...she refused three marriage proposals before Kuraba. That's commitment, don't you think?"

He freezes, confused, and releases him, "Why...Oi...Why you're saying that?"

"Ah...guess that's something I have on my mind lately..." Next thing, Okita waves a lazy hand in his face and puts his earphones on, "See ya..."

"OI...! You...Mah...what a hassle!"

**_o-o-o_**

"How old are you?"

Her glare is unmistakably inflamed, "Seventeen!"

"Weren't you fourteen the last time I asked?"

"Weren't you drunk last time I answered?" And she focuses again on whatever she's doing, which surprisingly isn't eating or watching TV or picking her nose or sleeping...

_'She's not bad on the eyes.'_

"Oi, when did you stop wearing Odango?"

Kagura is actually reading...a fashion magazine, "SHINPACHI, GIN-CHAN'S LOW ON SUGAR AGAIN-ARU!"

And he's definitively not reading Jump, "Kagura?" She looks up reluctantly. "You know...that thing your insane Papi told you about...about..."

"About?"

"About..._love..._that sometimes it starts in the bed...well...that's bullshit. It never happens, ever. Sooo...to avoid teen pregnancy, STD, heartbreak...don't start, ok? I mean the sex thing, got it?"

"SHINPACHI, SADAHARU BIT GIN-CHAN AGAIN-ARU!"

"Oi! I'm trying to be the adult here, ya know? Having a serious talk with his teenage freak daughter...be a bit cooperative here, Gin-san's not-"

"Don't bother, I know how it works." She flips a page, not looking. Jump falls on the parquet.

"WHAT!? Are you...are you still...?"

"YES! And I don't want to talk about that with you."

"Why? I'm an incredibly open-minded aniki...You can tell me anything! ANYTHING!"

And finally her eyes meet his, "You're a guy...if I want advises I'll ask Anego."

_'I wonder when it started. That her growing up...honestly didn't make me happy at all.'_

_'I wonder when it was that the loneliness started to overtake the happiness.'_

_Stupid Baldi..._

Someone stomps in, disrupting the awkward moment, "What is it again? I said no parfait and no sukonbu!"

"NOTHING!" At least they still both share a bound over Megane-verbal-abuse. And when said Megane stomps out, pissed, Gintoki lays his head on the sofa, watching the ceiling; lost in thoughts, mostly about an uncertain future and an angry bald man.

"So when does it start?"

He lowers his gaze; she's staring questioningly and looks much more like the Kagura he'd always known, "When it happens you just know it."

She looks disappointed and he wonders why, oh why, he sucks so much at playing the daddy. "That's the lamest answer ever."

"Gin-san is trying his best."

She smiles and that makes him smile too, "I know you are."


	8. Rain

_********__That chapter took me forever to write and I don't even know why... glad it's over!_

_**CAMEO: Gin-san would be a great dad but he has some flaws indeed... much like Baldi (I love their relation btw)**_

_**TruffleChocolate: I don't know if you'll actually see this but I've been busy lately and didn't even think to check about the movie. And, well... *Scream*, I love, love, LOVE their outfits. Kagura is gorgeous and Gin-san's true heir, Hijikata looking like real life Hijikata is a dream come true and Okita... what can I say... he's the freaking r**_**_urouni! __So much fan service, this movie is gonna be epic!_**

* * *

_-Maccha: green tea __powder_

_-Baba: old woman_

_-Seiryū (Azure Dragon) and Suzaku (Vermilion Bird): two of the four mythological creatures in the Chinese constellations. The Azure Dragon stands for spring/east, the Vermilion Bird summer/south, the White Tiger autumn/west, and the Black Tortoise winter/north._

* * *

**Autumn Stories, Part Three**

_**Rain**_

* * *

_Su. Kon. Bu._

_Tastes like crap…_

_And vanilla too._

She ate a vanilla ice cream before their first kiss. He hates vanilla; maccha is the only flavor worthwhile. Now, why is he thinking of that again? Ah…! The dango shop he's staring at. She ate dango before their last kiss and that's problematic, he likes the taste of dango.

"Taichou?"

And he would almost admit that the vanilla wasn't so bad either…How many weeks have passed since their last meeting?

"Okita Taichou?"

And why is he thinking about her anyway? Aaah...because she's walking towards them, a puzzled look on her face, her vermilion hair lightly brushed by the autumn wind. But something has changed. She approaches closer, carefree and bored...Lack of sleep must've damaged his brain, hallucination is bad indeed...

"What?"

Kamiyama indicates the girl with a tired shake of the head, "It's still dangerous, we should warn her..." Collective hallucination is dramatically bad.

Her dress is blue and her umbrella is different too...and the lips move.

"What's going on here?"

Now he's hearing an imaginary voice...pathetically bad. She fixates them, what a spectacle, Shinsengumi first squad, the _elite_ squad, sprawled on the ground doing nothing even remotely useful except playing cards and daydreaming.

"Chinaaa...what an awful surprise."

Her hand was on her hip like a scolding baba, "Why are you blocking the street like that?"

"You better get down."

Her brow furrows, distrusting, "Why?"

_Hijikata you bastard, confiscating my precious sleeping mask...this stupid dream is stupid..._"Fine, do as you want."

"China-san...be careful..." Kamiyama's panicked voice reaches too late, but she dodges, as he knows she would. The bullet only grazes her cheek_._

_Why is she wearing blue?_

"Oi, what happened to your umbrella?" It surprises him that she chose that color again, the last time it was like that, things didn't end up well.

"What about it?" She dodges another, but the moron was now firing with an automatic riffle.

"It's purple and...d'you realize you're in his line of sight?"

She shrugs, not answering the first question, and finally sits on the asphalt, the Shinsengumi cars protecting them from another terrorist tantrum. After some blank staring she points at the shadows under his eyes, "You look like you've been hit by a truck."

"You look like the bastard child of Suzaku and Seiryū." It's a lie, that azure qipao is distractingly...nice.

"Baka gaki."

She's already willing to leave and starts to get up, but he wants the illusion to last a little longer, "Fancy a job?"

_Ah! _She shrugs again, indifferent, "Depends on what."

"We're sick of being trapped here since last night because of Hijikata's baka plan. Apparently the guy's doped on caffeine or something else, something illegal." She's unmoved and lost, "Hostage situation…we're supposed to wait for him to fall asleep, but that's going down the drain, _we_'re falling asleep." Terrorists need money, but suck at bank robbery.

"Morons." Of course she means them. Shinsengumi.

"Well…what d'you say?"

"I don't know, I must ask my associates."

She takes out her cell phone and strums the keys, but suddenly a stray bullet breaks through a windshield and the phone shatters. A gasp proliferates among the men as he watches her hand bleeding, but he knows the wound is only superficial. Everybody freezes and the Yato is angry. Very angry. Sougo smiles, his ordeal ends here, and the absurd plan is definitively going down to the toilet.

"So...what d'you say, now?"

He smirks a detestable smirk and he knows it; she glares and trembles with rage, abruptly standing on her feet while opening her destructive weapon and with a firm step, jumps on the car boot to everybody's surprise, except him, and runs at the speed of light directly to the bank. A big crashing sound. Hijikata screams through the walkie-talkie, Sougo feigns innocence. Fifteen minutes later, the terrorist-bank-robber-wannabe lays unconscious on the ground and the hostages run away in fear or relief, no doubt the girl with the purple umbrella has left a greater impression than fifteen hours of captivity with an idiot.

This isn't illusion, everything about her is real. The light and lazy gait, the porcelain skin and all the rest. She's here, her umbrella pointed accusingly and staring down at him, only him, with eyes full of life and threat.

"Done, now money."

He stands to face her as an equal, one of those stupid reflexes makes his hand tighten around the hilt of his katana, and it's useless and it only happens because of that fierce stare. Because she has that mystifying ability to never bore him and even on the brink of collapsing from fatigue he's almost willing to fight, here and now.

_Sukonbu tastes like..._

But instead he starts walking in the direction of the cash machine, glancing once from the corner his eyes, and she follows looking very much ready to snap his neck if he dares crossing her.

_...passion._

**_o-o-o_**

He has had trouble remembering his PIN and when nothing came out except his card she was already prepared to punch his bishounen face. Of course the asshole would lie.

"Bastard." And insult her too.

Now she's royally pissed, "OI! WHO D'YOU THINK YOU'RE CALLING BASTARD, SHITHEAD!?"

"Not you, Hijikata that pile of shit...making me pay for that stupid park-" He turns to face her and she sees he's also royally pissed, "-now I'm broke."

_Unbelievable!_ Her eyes shoot him daggers, "I don't care. I want my fee!"

He opens his wallet before she has the opportunity to break his tibia, "That's enough to buy you dango...the rest in a few days...No, what am I saying...a few hours...bullying my subordinates doesn't take that long."

_Grr..._"You think I'm a dummy?"

He raises an eyebrow, staring with those blood-red eyes and a smug grin plastered on that pathetically pale face, "Are you?" She snaps and raises her umbrella, but he's inflexible and ready to draw, "It's that or nothing."

She sighs, half interested, a peek at the dango shop seals the deal.

Fortunately he has enough cash to set her stomach at peace, although only temporally and right now she's chewing on the last one. While the asshole is...well...lying on his back...on the bench...the bench _they_ share.

_So annoying-aru! _She's trying not to pay him any attention, what's the point? Who cares about that sorry piece of trash anyway? Why did he settle next to her? There's another bench, plenty in fact. Why did he stay at all? And why is he looking like a corpse?

She pokes on his forehead and his eyelids half open, _"_Are you gonna sleep here?"

"Why not? I've been up since like forever...never heard of 'breaking point'?"

"Pfft! It's only been since yesterday night, you're such a wimp!"

"I had a 24 hours shift before...sooo...it's been non-stop since...43 hours, no 45, no...whatev...lots...of..."

He falls asleep. And it's raining.

It started raining some time ago and soon the streets empty themselves. It's not pouring, but Okita's lower body is already drenched. His head and torso are not because a purple umbrella sheltering him...and the dragon-bird young woman at his side.

She doesn't even think about letting him get soaked entirely, catching a cold in the process, because idiots don't catch colds. And even after eating her last dango, she stays...

Looking intensely at a tiny scar on a turbulent sleeping face.


	9. Past, present, future

**Autumn Stories, Part Four**

_**Past, Present, Future**_

* * *

"And I'm telling you she refused!"

"How do you know that?"

She looked at her old cronies haughtily, "I have my sources."

He passed by them at that moment and they went silent the instant he threw a cold glare, staring at him like he was a yakuza. He then ignored them and walked directly to the combini's counter. The gossips resumed their chat believing he couldn't eavesdrop, but he has always had a keen hearing, which usually was very useful, yet right now he wanted nothing of this. The line was long so he occupied his thoughts by reviewing mentally his last training.

But it was impossible not to listen to their venom.

"He has the beauty of a deceitful demon."

Hijikata recognized them vaguely; all three women came from wealthy bushi families.

"A trap to respectable young women...she's lost, poor girl."

"It's her fault; you don't let that sort of man enter in your life...handsome on the outside, rotten inside."

"How many do you think he killed? He isn't even from a samurai family."

"Mah! The Okita have fallen anyway, a chance that fool Kondo took them under his wing...the kid would've ended up a juvenile delinquent, surely."

He could no longer listen and before his temper had the opportunity to get the better of him, he dropped his provisions in the first basket and stormed out. Even if it was a just rumor, he suspected some truth behind it...

Mitsuba had refused the marriage proposal.

Something arranged by a friend of her late mother; a decent, but unspectacular son of a local merchant. He saw him once or twice, from the distance, when he introduced himself to Kondo's family and after he took her to visit an ancient Buddhist temple. That was the only time he and the gaki ever agreed about something...both hated the guy from the start for the simple reason that he had spent the afternoon with her. Alone.

And now he felt relieved, but angry too. She couldn't realistically believe there was something...that there was even a possibility for them to have...He himself had made his peace with that stupid idea some time ago, having a family and...those feelings. He had kept rehearsing the problem over and over in his head until it was useless. Because he always came back to the same conclusion.

There was no bright horizon for them. No future together.

With a little 'luck' she would end up widow before twenty-five, perhaps even a single mother and without the support of a brother, someone who might actually disappear at any moment. And Hijikata couldn't imagine for a second not following Kondo to Edo.

When he arrived at the dojo it was quiet and nobody was around. They were probably somewhere outside for one of those impromptu and eccentric training sessions in the river, equilibrium exercise. _Tch...rubbish!_ He took a shinai on the ground, the place was a mess like usual, all of the men here really lacked basic discipline. Except him of course, so he began to tidy the dojo, cursing under his breath. When the wooden floor was finally cleared he began is routine, pushing himself more than any other day and wanting to expel all the accumulated tension.

"Hello...is someone there?"

He froze, recognizing the sweet voice and the light footsteps approaching...His heart began to beat faster and he realized that spending time with her until the last day, here, was a cruel taste at happiness...but worth every second of it. He may have buried that desire, or tried, but there were things in life you just couldn't control, things you'd keep fighting until death.

She popped her head through the door, smiling, "Toshiro-san...are you alone?"

**_o-o-o_**

_Alone_.

"He's dead."

A harrowing fact. Another shit. He lights his cigarette, barely looking at the corpse, "Can't you be more careful?"

Okita stands and stares, "Why? It's not as if I've never done it before." Hijikata breathes out smoke. It's cold and he glances up, no rain in sight, but the wind is already crushing theirs skins, ruthless.

"You always go too far."

"I'm a killer...I don't have that kind of scruple. If you can't take it, resign, Kondo-san doesn't need a craven for this job."

Hijikata tilts his head and glares at him, what kind of bullshit has the other fetched from that demented brain of his? "What're you on about? YOU JUST RAN OVER A DOG FOR FUCK'S SAKE! Nothin' to do with my job!" He sucks on his cigarette; it seems like a long day is awaiting him.

Okita is watching him placidly, his voice so irritating that it makes his skin scrawl. It's like an incessant whistling the way the words just keep drawling from his mouth. An additional 'method', no doubt, to play with his already stretched nerves. "Hijikataaa-saan, you're so pathetic, always finding crappy excuses to your shortcomings."

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" It doesn't take long; he can't any longer and explodes. As usual. "Enough already...Dammit! Now call the HQ for someone to clean that mess." And turning on his heels he begins his patrol. The dog can die a second time since he doesn't give a shit.

But that infuriating voice sings again, "Where are you going?"

The bones of his neck nearly dislocate when Hijikata jerks his head too abruptly, "Are you kidding me? We've got a job to do…now move your ass and come here!"

But the other just stands there in the middle of the street, with blood on the bumper, next to his hairy and fluffy victim. His voice is oddly vivacious, "That's not something you should tell a subordinate."

He snaps, "What?"

And again Okita is staring with his crimson eyes, empty and threatening, bored and bright, childish and feral. This guy is walking contradiction...and...the bastard is leaving...in the _other_ direction. Hijikata can hear the barely disguised disdain, "Forget it...you have no sense of humor."

"OI! DON'T YOU DARE BUG OFF AND BUM AROUN'! D'YOU HEAR ME! OKITAA!"

His cigarette has fallen, moribund on the asphalt, he's too exhausted to run after him or catch him by the collar and drag him by sheer will and the strength of his arms to force him doing his job. Exhausted or relieved, at least loneliness won't threat to cut his throat at any moment. That's why he goes on without seeing Okita for the rest of the day and without hearing for the umpteenth time the fatal word that the captain throws at him.

"Die."

Little shit! It's getting worse and worse lately. The others have the crappy mood; he has the crappy mood and the crappy attacks. There're limits to childish revenge and harassment. Hijikata has been convincing himself that they reached some sort understanding over the past few years; slowly, but surely.

Since she passed away...

_Tch...No use thinking about that!_

Sougo has been on edge recently, for some reason and almost all the men of the organization are aware of it. Especially the officers, especially his men. Even Gorilla has noticed...and that's saying something.

And it's at this exact moment that Hijikata stops, as if struck by lightning, slamming a palm against his forehead in exasperation and amazement.

The one who's on edge, with the crappy mood and that others look askance at, it's not Okita...it's him.

**_o-o-o_**

Hijikata sighs, "What're you doing here?"

"Get lost…I was here first."

He wants the dojo for himself; go figure running into the bane of his existence is the icing on the cake of an awful day.

"Yeah…I can see…slacking off…How was your day by the way? Enjoying yourself?"

Okita turns his head nonchalantly, "The funeral was moving...I cried. Lots of fluffy cats."

He approaches, grabbing the young man's collar, "This is the last time you're doing that…get it?"

Change of tone, obviously it couldn't end up differently as Sougo narrows his eyes, "I'm sick and tired of your mood swings, asshole-" and throwing the shinai at Hijikata's feet, "-let's just go at each other this way…not that you'll win anyway." Sougo takes another one from the corner of the dojo, glancing dangerously and daring him to refuse, "What's up, menopause already?"

_Little bastard._ Hijikata grits his teeth, "Ok. Let's do this."

And he attacks first, for once. They fight hard, shinais clashing harshly. It's been a long time since he has spared with him and even if Hijikata will never admit it, only maybe while drunk and while a certain annoying perm-head pushing his buttons is around boasting about that girl's inhuman power, training with Sougo is something valuable. Very. Because he's the best within the Shinsengumi. No...he's a genius and knows it.

"Ooh…you're in great form today…Oka-saaan..." But pure talent doesn't prevent the fact that he's outrageously obnoxious, on the contrary.

They fight for who knows how long, sweating and panting. Nobody comes to disrupt the combat. After a while, Hijikata finally pauses to catch his breath.

"I know why you're all cranky lately. You're so transparent, Hijikata-san...it's embarrassing."

He's too exhausted to bother answering and lets it slide, but the sadist isn't willing to cut him some slack...or so he thinks.

"Listen carefully; I'm going to say it..." Hijikata looks up, the blank face is unreadable, but serious nonetheless, "And you know why...? Because it's the last thing you'd expect me to do."

Sougo lowers his shinai and bows, doing the very same thing he did that time...when he was begging for his sister's sake.

"As the last member of the Okita family I owe you a debt. You prevented that name from being shamed forever and shame Kondo-san too. Your…behavior allowed _her_ to avoid that...disgusting union with Kuraba-" then Sougo straightens up, eyes steady, "-you were right. You often are."

Hijikata is stunned, there are so many things wrong about that statement and the way Sougo said those words...But the young man keeps on, "I know she would've been miserable where she is now if everything she sacrificed went to dust. That is…my place in the Shinsengumi, at Kondo-san side…and yo-"

"Enough. No more..." He can't stand it, his hand is shaking slightly. And he can't look at him either. _Today_...

After an endless silence, when the earth has stood still, Okita walks away.

_Three years...today._

Something crosses his mind, its instinct and observation. He has known the sadist for more than decade and watched him grow up, almost becoming his brother.

"Sougo..."

What can he say? The other won't listen anyway or perhaps for once..._Why not?_ "If you play with fire, don't get burned."

The young samurai doesn't look back, "I'm not like you."

_Yes, you are...no matter how much you hate it._

After Okita leaves Hijikata keeps training, again and again, until mental exhaustion...and oblivion.


	10. Something more

_**Ouji-Rui, Gabii and CAMEO: Thanks! He is my favorite character so there was no way this fiction wouldn't have a Hijikata-centric chapter. **_

_**This is my favorite chapter with the second one about Madao. But it's a little OOC.  
**_

* * *

_-Haori: lightweight jacket worn over a kimono._

_-Rén and Yi: Two of the Five Constants in __Confucianism. Loosely translated as good-heartedness (__Rén) and morals/code of etiquette (Yi). Bushidō is principally inspired by Neo-confucianism._

___-Ippon: One full point, highest score in a fight._

* * *

**Autumn Stories, Part Five**

_**Something More**_

* * *

Things have escalated rather quickly.

He wipes the blood that was spilling from the cut on his eyebrow, but to no effect, it flows along the cheek, dripping on his off-white haori. "That's nasty."

And it's different this time, _she_ attacked him and the violence went up a notch.

"An eye for an eye. You ruined my dress...dog!"

She's making him angry on purpose, and it works. Those blazing eyes and that katana would have knocked her out already if she were human. But he composes his face, looking smug is like a second nature to him, "I guess Rén and Yi just went out the window?"

She smirks cruelly, her umbrella twirls. "The Yato's philosophy is blood and food." The twirling thing is that fatal nanosecond of inattention he needs and he tackles her with the sheath as harshly as she hit him earlier and she falls heavily on her back, but her shaken pride is what will be hurt the most.

He leans slightly, some of his blood drops on her sleeve; the gaki doesn't play by the rules either. "It's my day off...Bushidō stayed at home with the uniform." And he certainly doesn't discriminate when it comes to female opponents. In a twisted way it's almost a feminist stance. Didn't he want to hire the girl who tried to kill him?

_Kagura...you're losing your mind...he's a misogynistic prick! _"You're dead!"

"Yeah...yeah...I heard that before...What's up with you today? Periods? Ovulation? Starv-"

A quick movement of the wrist to swing her weapon and a kneecap as a result, he stumbles next to her, but before she can get up at all, he seizes her forehand and doesn't let go. All she can manage to do is sit on the wet concrete, by chance they haven't ended up at the river yet. She pulls her arm to her, he pulls back and so on until her heel tries to hit his stomach, but he blocks with his other arm. _Baka gaki_. The head-butt right on the wounded brow ridge is delightfully painful and after getting up finally, her right foot comes quickly 'resting' on his private parts. Over.

Of course that doesn't please him at all, lying there miserably in defeat, but no murderous vibe that his whole body exults will make a difference, and it only adds a sweet feeling to the victory. After a silent moment of 'commiseration' for the poor soul and his gigantic ego (and a glaring contest), the tip of her umbrella pressures on his cheek. Right on that scar she's been obsessing over, the reason she came after him. A scar she can't actually see now because of the declining light and the distance. That's how small it is.

"Where did you get that?"

His hand takes the umbrella, but instead of fighting back he pushes it aside gently, nothing else.

"How d'you let that happen?" Tongue-tied. "Oi, I'm curious. Who did this?" Still mute, she presses her boot harder on his precious jewels, "I can crush them-" He winces. "-just like that."

But he doesn't seem to believe her intimidation and smiles, "Now...who's the one playing with fire, China?"

The line of opaque red blood that stained the right side shapes his face like a dark, reverse halo. Hideous...

"So what if I am?"

_Hideous..._It stopped bleeding, she only realizes now...

"Aren't you afraid?"

_'When it happens you just know it...'_

"No. Why you're asking?"

_Stupid Gin-chan..._

"Because you're a virgin." And with that he grabs her ankle and shoves her aside.

She doesn't fall, but almost, no matter, she's too upset, no...she's been hit by an invisible sledgehammer. "WHAT...? Wha' the hell did you say!?" How could things have escalated _this_ way...trust the sadist to cross the line.

"Cut the crap." He's already standing, touching his wound lightly, "Damn you're a bitch, I need stitches now..."

Now or never, she has to ask him, "You started that mess...I want to know why."

He looks up, not much surprise here, apart from a nervous hand tightening the hilt of his katana. It's always like this, impossible to read those eyes. He seems to be thinking about what to say next, which is a good sign; anything can do at this point. Anything. Even something bad is better than the perpetual blur clouding her judgment...and nothingness.

"Mirror is your friend." That's all. And he decamps without a single glance.

_No way..._

_No way in the entire universe..._"OI! COME BACK!" She runs after him and no matter what it'll take, he _will_ talk. Their fight began on the riverbank, where she found him and now they were walking along the wayside, passersby avoiding them, even the most persistent; one look at them should alarm anyone.

She catches up and he acknowledges her briskly, "What now? Don't tell me you got your panties in a twist because of a meaningless flirting."

"If it's meaningless then why did you start it?"

"I don't know. And the more I listen to you the less I get closer to an answer."

"That's too easy...Oi...STOP!" He doesn't, her weapon flies blocking his path, "I said stop, bastard!"

"You wanna talk? Alright." He faces her, detached and cold, "Talk."

"Do you enjoy messing with other people's minds that much?"

"Seems to me you're doing the messing all by yourself. I never went too far and when you said enough I backed off...like _you_ wanted."

"So you didn't want to back off? Is that it?"

He grits his teeth, failing to try hiding whatever he's hiding, "Doesn't matter...it would've ended either way."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

He restrains himself, clearly; hand in mid-air, ready to draw and the eyes aflame, "You're annoying." They're going to clash again, that's what she thinks, but he only resumes walking. They're approaching the bridge and she follows, determined to know the truth behind that thick and stubborn skull. But she has to give some of herself, she knows she has to; otherwise she won't break that front, ever.

"I was scared...happy now? But that's a normal thing...for girls like me...I mean...inexperienced and all that stuf-"

"I don't need you to get laid."

That stops her for a second. She can leave now, she should..._He's a jerk, that's your answer._

"What?"

"You heard me."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Sixteen...that's what you want, right? Not being treated like a fourteen year old?"

"What kind of stupid question is that? And my birthday was three weeks ago! I'M SEVENTEEN!"

He looks pensively at the darkening sky, "Hmm...Do I give a shit? Lemme see...no."

"You damn rotten sad-"

"Oi!" They're in the middle of the bridge already, with its ancient railing and sun setting and river flowing. A quiet place, people are sparse, such a contrast with her tormented mind. He finally stops and turns around, hands in his sleeves. The stain on his haori looks like he's been pierced by a sword. And his eyes are transfixing, "Starting now, this is an adult conversation." Challenging as well, to stay or flee.

As if she'll ever bend, "Bring it on."

The crimson stare is resolute, "If it's about sex and sex only...why would I go through such a hassle with you?"

"Because you're a sadist."

"Try harder."

"You're a sadist and a player."

Eyes rolling and that conceited air about him. _Grr..._"You play around, don't you deny it! Those pathetic girls you go out with...I'm not one of them."

"Who are you to judge?"

"Someone who can actually _beat_ you, fair and square or not, and I just proved it." She points at the wounds with her umbrella, "That's who I am."

"Sac-chan is not pathetic."

_Wha'!_ Her hand falters and her body freezes, the mind needs processing, she blinks a couple of times and heat is rising in her blood system, "Repeat that..."

"Sarutobi-san is not pathetic."

Now an invisible hand is twisting her insides, "Did you...sleep with her?"

"Bondage makes people closer." And he stays there like a marble statue, waiting for any reactions. It takes a few seconds before she finally realizes what he's doing...enjoying the mental torture. _That asshole..._

"Bullshit!"

"She's my friend...sort of. And those girls never crossed your mind that they actually agreed and enjoyed it?"

"Because they're nuts!"

"Judgmental and narrow-minded...What a catch you make, Chinaaa."

She doesn't get it, it's too fast...its spinning and painful. That's what she thought from the beginning, what he was after, like those men who check her out in the street and that she wants to punch. Anego told her it's what men do, that they are pitiful perverts with one-track minds...

"Why does this have to be about sex?"

"It's always about sex. You said that yourself, it's the reason why you're afraid."

"It's not; you're a pervert piece of trash bastard that's all!"

He sighs, calm and composed, "Fine. If this is your opinion of me then stop here, I'm going this way."

If this is desire then it's not worth it, she doesn't want it. Because obviously, falling in love with a jerk is beyond her control and whatever pledges she told herself in that closet of hers, too small now and dusty, it doesn't work. Even if her mind keeps screaming in disgust and rage, body and soul no longer respond to her will, it's almost too late. She came here seeking him so he would do something outrageous and she would move on without regret.

It's a failure.

And seeing him walking away without a second thought makes it _her_ failure.

"COWARD!"

He halts dead, body tensed. "Riiight..._I_ am the coward now." His tone his sharp, but when he looks over his shoulder something must've appeared on her face, because he seems genuinely surprised, but she knows for certain she's not crying. She won't cry. His own features soften and he moves enough to face her properly, speaking again, nothing mean or facetious or smug, he speaks like an adult, "Look...I'm twenty one and you're-"

"Not ready." It's an affirmation, she's not ashamed, why would she?

A light smile forms on his lips, it's mocking, but benign, "I figured that out."

_Fine...it's not only about sex._ Her free hand flexes. Open, close, open, close..."What do we do now?"

He looks over in the distance towards the river and leans on the railing, thinking. "Some average ronin-" He traces the scar with his forefinger, still not looking at her, "-I don't even remember when." She takes two steps and leans beside him. "Sometimes I feel one those dickheads is gonna cut me accidentally for real...and it pisses me off. If someone has to end me at least that person should be skilled."

She watches the current of the water, "I don't like it...not being in control of that thing between us."

"Then you're lucky...I _hate_ it."

Cold feet again, this is too overwhelming. "Maybe we should stop seeing each other for a while."

"Done before. How did that work out for you?"

A long silence, side by side, the sound of water and the distant murmurs of the city encircling them, "Kinda sucked." This is a revelation, laying her heart out with two simple and stupid words. Yes, it sucked.

A low sigh and a voice she never heard before, "That's an understatement." Strange it's still the same voice, unmistakably. And it hits her; a veil failing from her vision, her mind is finally less obscure. They're in this mess together. Light brown bangs shielded his eyes and, in any case, he's avoiding her stare, looking at something in the depth of the water. She wants to see them; red is her favorite color after all.

"It's going to rain again." She can tell he's nervous, when has he ever said something as mundane as that? Suddenly, a fresh breeze reminds her that her dress has been slashed, a scrap of cloth dangling near her right knee. Ruined. She grabs it and tears it out; he doesn't notice so she approaches closer, that much blood for a small wound is bad omen...

He catches her wrist, holding tight, and she sees the tumultuous crimson, red, brown or is it black eyes? "What d'you think you're doing?"

There are no easy answers. Why can't she sleep well at night? Why didn't he sleep well on that bench? Why does the age seventeen have to mean something for Yatos? Why is Gin-chan so overly annoying lately? Why couldn't Papi come? Why does baka Nii _never_ comes? Why can't she move and get the hell out of here? And why...why does she want to kiss him so badly?

"Shut up."

Enough thinking. She jumps.

_**o-o-o**_

_Sukonbu tastes like..._

_You're an idiot._

She's not playing fair at all. What could he do? _Ippon again_...Was it the moment her soft lips brushed his? Or when that piece of dress dropped from her hand and carelessly fell in the river? No, maybe when he slides his hand through her wild, fiery hair...

Defeated by chaos.

_Aneue...did you feel that too?_

_End of Autumn Stories_


	11. OoS: What Girls Dream of

_**Silly chapter with bad parodies based on bad memories of:**_

_**-Tsui Hark's film, Butterfly Lovers: story of Liang Shan Bo and Zhu Ying Tai, the Romeo and Juliet from China**_

**_-Im Kwon-taek's film, Chunhyang: based on the Korean pansori _**_**Chunhyangga, a marital love**_

_**-The legend of Layla and Majnun, a tragic tale of insanity**_

_**Set some times before "Something more"**_

* * *

**Out Of Season**

**What Girls Dream Of**

* * *

**梁山伯與祝英台**

The tragic (and unbelievable) romance of **O**liang **S**han Bo & **K**zhu Ying Tai.

_"Papi I want to study like boys!"_

_"No."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because you're a girl."_

_"Why? Why? WHY!? That's stupid!"_

_"Don't ask me, it's the way of the __**Y**__in dynasty. Boys study, girls don't."_

_"I don't like that bull*** crap…"_

_"Well...it's true that YOU may need some education."_

_"Ya raised me. Yar fault. So?"_

_"So no. No school for you, home study at bes-" __**BAM **__"But, but...Papi promises to be a good teacher..."_

_"Like hell!"_

_Her last words, that night __**K**__zhu fled home and so began her quest for a new life, far from the bloodthirsty __**Y**__in clan, her Baldi Papi and a faraway Baka Nii...she fled because she wanted to be their equal, because girls should train their brain too._

_She enrolled as a male student in an all-boy school, precisely in Kabukicho High, class 3Z...on Earth, a strange planet in a strange country and strange customs._

_With strange people. Samurais... and tough women._

_The beginning of trouble. Because...because...somehow, somewhere things just wouldn't go her/his way._

_"Move your ass midget...you're in the way."_

_**O**__liang __**S**__han Bo, aka 'the sadist with no shame,' the bane of his/her existence._

_"Move yourself, slimy louse."_

_The boy she/he can't stand and, of course, that stupid, stupid plot point HAS TO lead to...to..._

_"Shortie...beat it. Now."_

_Love...Urghhhh!_

_"Ain't happenin', larva."_

_"School's hygiene basic rule: get rid of bacteria and their foul mouths. Do you want me to drown you myself in the sewer, China boy?"_

_"Microbe like ya just don't need exist...let me ease yaar pain...and die..."_

_And so the blossoming and innocent homosexual lov- ("STOOOOP! I'm a girl! A GIRL!" - "But here nobody knows..." - "Say that again and I'll cut yar jugular!" - "Err...ok...fine.")_

_And thus started an 'illicit' love, blossoming among youthful carelessness and- ("Oiii...'blossoming', where are you from? All-girl Shoujo school...what's the name again?" - "Mantama...and its mix, __**O**__liang-kun" - "As if...Kabukicho High is testosterone territory, get it?" - "Err...alright.")_

_Two brats, a lie, gender-bender, fighting, insults, spitting, hitting, hair pulling, and slapping. The modern romance of star-crossed lovers..._

_"SHADDUP!"_

**BAM!**

"WAKE UP, PRINCESS…TIME TO FEED THE DOG!"

Closet. Screeching voice. Reality.

Dammit.

**춘향가**

The bittersweet (and unimaginable) romance of **K**hunhyang & **O**mongryong Lee

_His smirk looks so, so ready to be punched..."In this one, there's that steamy scene where you and me have sex on the floor. I'm so in."_

_"Pervert bastard, touch me and I'll snap yar neck."_

_"__**K**__hunhyaaang...my secret wife, you love meee..."_

_"I have no control on the script...fiction is fiction!"_

_"Mah...no way, this is YOUR dream..."_

_"AND I AIN'T GONNA BE BEATEN TO DEATH BECAUSE OF SOME CHEAP ASS LIKE YA!"_

_"Hey...how does it feel to be mine?"_

_"D'ya want to know how it feels to die slowly?"_

_"No fun, China. Spoiling the best part like usual."_

_Grr..."The only things I like here are my lush dresses and playing on the tree swing..."_

_"Such a brat."_

_"Such an a-"_

**BAM!**

"GIN-SAAN...KAGURA-CHAAAN...BREAKFAST'S READY!"

"I'm so, so weak..."

"Kagura-chan, did you hear? Breakfa-"

**BAM!**

"FOOD...! FEED ME, MEGANE! NOWWWWW!"

**مجنون ليلى**

The insane (and impossible) romance of** K**ayla& **O**majnun

_"So, now I'm supposed to fall in love until my mind explodes and becomes crazy? Chinaaa...that's overly dramatic and the one who's probably gonna lose her mind is you."_

_"Why ya're harassing me IN EVERY GODAMN F**** DREAM, EVERY F**** NIGHT!?"_

_"Don't blame me. You're the one fantasizing on my godlike face and body...I'm only an illusion, you can make me disappear anytime you want."_

_"Disappear now."_

_Nothing happens...zilch, nada, nil, zero...no, no, no. Wake up, wake up, wak-_

_"See...your subconscious needs to work harder...that is why you have all those dirty thoughts about me."_

_"Die already!"_

_"__**K**__ayla, I've been driven mad by our impossible union; you were married of to someone else and live very far away...come back to me...I'll sing you songs and...and...wait. Stop. Time for puking."_

_"GO TO HELL!"_

_"Aw...come on, admit it. You HAVE dreamed of THAT moment on the floor, right...? Tsk, tsk..."_

_"Shaddup now, I swear...I'll cut yar throat for real...in the real world."_

_"But I'm innocent in the real world, remember? We haven't seen each other for...weeks..."_

_"Stop, go away. Forever."_

_"I can't, China...you won't let me. I'm stuck in that stubborn brain of yours."_

_"I won't let that happen again!"_

_"Why? It's fun. Don't you agree?"_

_"..."_

_That smug smile is toxic...and..._

**BAM!**

"STOP NAPPING ON MY COUCH OR I'LL SEND YOU BACK IN SPACE!"

"...Mommy's dreamin'..."

"Like I care...Oi! Kagura...Kagura!"

"It's no use, Gin-san. She's gone again."

**BAM!**

"Not on MY couch!"

"SADAHARU, ATTACK THE SILVER TRASH!"


	12. Cold

_Yōkai: Supernatural monster_

* * *

**Winter Stories, Part One**

_**Cold**_

* * *

Some nights she dreams of skulls smashed in her hands, cracking bones under her foot, dark visions of the past and future that are rotting her present. Leaving her mouth dry and sometimes with the remnant taste of blood, the sickeningly brutal leftovers of her tribe. Yato's fate.

Normal girls dream of..._What do they dream of?_

"Kagura-chan, you're spacing out again."

Shinpachi is the only one along with Gin-san who knows her deepest secret, until now she had to face it only occasionally, still under the wings of her guardians and a baka Baldi, the worst father in the universe. There are days when her heart screams with rage and anger, growing up and losing her innocence, she doesn't want to feel it. She knows they know, but pretend not to. Gin-san is waiting, that she's also certain...waiting for her to talk. What of? There's nothing to talk about, she chose the other way and Kamui can die in a hole far away..._Yeah, right..._

Seventeen, there's an old saying...it's the age Yatos gain full strength.

"I'm going out."

"Kagura-chan."

It's not fair to Shinpachi, he doesn't deserve this..._Do something!_ She smiles, "It'll pass...tummy ache."

She knows he knows it's a lie.

There are days she wishes not be herself anymore.

_**o-o-o**_

"It's cold."

"It's December."

It's almost a daily routine, a new one, ending up somewhere hidden from everyone, an hour of nothing and everything. He's napping most of the time, seems satisfied with the silence and any case their discussions, even the most mundane, often end in stupid fights or full battles. Often, she wins. Her physical strength makes her question the fact that her 'boyfriend' _isn't_ an alien freak like her...but...that big 'but'...the gaki is someone she added to the list, the list of precious people. A new secret.

She doesn't sleep that day, restless and impatient. "Stop moving." He can't sleep either, how laughable.

"It is too cramped here...too dirty...too...too everything!"

He lets out a long breath, not moving an inch; she turns her head and sees that he still has his eyes closed. It's a small victory to have banished the horrible red mask. _This guy IS a freak._ And now she can't stop grinning, problem solved, both freaks in a freak show named Gintama.

"Chinaa...you came here willingly, now shut up or kiss me." Why doesn't he even pretend to sleep? It would be easier.

"Like hell."

She moves awkwardly, not caring, kicking him and resting her head on his chest, facing the ceiling with foot on the wall. It's worse than Gin-chan's closet. It's one of the many hidden places he affections, unknown to the morons in navy blue, Mayora in particular. _Hey, maybe smelly crow will pay a lot for that information? _After a silence and her new found comfort she can hear the feint heartbeat beneath the thick uniform, regular and rocking and his quiet breathing. All of this is still new.

New sensations, new emotions, new...

"Oi, gaki?"

"Hmm..."

_One day I'm gonna tell you why I changed the colors of my umbrella_... "Nothing..."

They fall into nothing again. Now he's sleeping and she sits, slowly leaning over his face, her eyes are automatically drawn to the scar and she doesn't even notice when his eyelids open. "Weird girl." She's startled by that aloof voice and a deep red, red, red gaze. Beautiful and alive. "If I'm weird, you're sly." She has been thinking a lot lately, way too much for her own liking, and it doesn't suit her. Instinctive people should stick to what they do best, relying on their intuition. But no can do, because intuition and thoughts converge every single time. And she's been thinking a lot about unnecessarily painful memories.

Her hand slides around his neck, feeling the muscles, bones, his Adam apple and she does the same on her own with her left hand, "Even if mine is slender...it doesn't mean anything."

Stronger than humans.

His eyes are shining, "Want me dead that badly?" Now his hand is pushing hers and encircling her neck, mirroring her movements. Soft touches and cold, rough palms, slowly getting warmer at the contact of her skin. Samurai hand. Her fingers trace his chin, he does the same. Silly game. _I can be gentle too..._

He observes her, insistent, "What's wrong?" _He has noticed, so unfair.._.

She's an open book and so bad at lying, "Nothing." Mind needs to go blank and he's very good at it, she could do more, holding him tight, kissing him until she's numb. That's what she does, for how long she has no idea and finally that brain stops functioning. Until she was smacked on the head...

"Oi...my self-restraint has limits..."

Limits. She has been thinking a lot about that too. And it's unfair on her part, how she's using this to forget, even more when they both know nothing else will come of it. If it were her, she'll be angry. But he never really is, how odd, how...unexpected.

"It's not my thing...listening to people and their problems, I never do that myself-" Okita Sougo is a sly honest bastard, "-but you don't need to pretend with me. If you're down or cheerful or feel like crying or yelling, so be it."

_Is it that simple?_

For once today, she tells the truth, "I need distraction."

Unfazed or smug, he rarely gives clues about himself, even now and this is why his face doesn't betray any emotions, "Then let's go fight. I might win today." Childish bickering, that comfort zone they know too well.

She slaps him on the cheek, "In your dream, Prince S degenerate!"

He pulls her hair, "Yōkai."

_**o-o-o**_

"I have a boyfriend."

The sentence is dropped without warning or tact, subtlety has never been her strong point, Shinpachi doubts that the young woman even knows the meaning of the word and loads of others too. "Ah." What else could he say? It's not the first time. Is this the reason why she doesn't want to confide anymore? _I thought she had Ane-ue ..._

"He's four years older, but not pushy...so I'm gonna stay virgin like you, for now."

_Kagura-chan, this is so mean!_

Anyway, that was bound to happen, Kagura looks more '-san' than '-chan' recently. Men _do_ stare at her and it's hard to tell who, between Gin-san and himself, struggles the most to avoid beating them to a pulp. _Smile_. "Well...he seems like a respectful guy...do you like him?"

"I guess."

"Does Gin-san know?"

She's uncomfortable, "Not yet...can you...please..."

Of course! Shimura Shinpachi, ten times more mature than pink milk addict, "Don't worry."

Ah! Kagura-chan is smiling...finally. Why did she have to grow even more...more...womanly than during the time-skip arc?

"Shinpachi...you won't laugh if I tell you who."

_Huh? _"Wha'? It's not like you to be embarrassed...Wait! I know him?"

"I'm not ashamed! It's just...it's laughable now that I gave it some thought...like... like irony...ah! That's it...irony-aru!" How does she know _that _word? "And he's human too..."

"So what?" He tries hard being the comprehensive aniki, but indeed, why should this be a problem..._Girls...what trouble!_ She blinks, somehow surprised, as if she's discovered something new.

"I won't laugh, promise, you can tell me."

Still blinking and then...that horrible, horrible habit of picking her nose. More often than not she's as refined as a Yakuza daughter...

"Bastard gaki piece of trash."

"Err...Who?"

Booger flying, "Tax robber."

_I. Don't. Feel. Ok. About. This..._"Come again..."

"Shinsengumi sadist."

Shinpachi chokes on an imaginary rice ball, "O...Oki...Okita-saa...n?"

Suddenly, dead fish eyes stare him down, "Man, you're slow."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! GIIIIIIN-SAAAAAAAAAAN!"


	13. Not Omiai

_**Thank again for the loyal reviews (and advices **_;)** _)_**

* * *

_Omiai: Traditional matchmaking_

_irori: Sunken hearth, generally in the middle of the room_

_Manjū: Japanese sweet********__  
_

* * *

**Winter Stories, Part Two**

_**Not Omiai**_

* * *

It definitively wasn't an Omiai...

"Want some more?"

...and they have managed to escape unscathed, with food, stolen as it turns out.

"Ah! I want dumplings, yes..."

Did the others even notice? Okita Sougo couldn't give a shit at this moment, this hideout has an irori and futons and before all of Edo's special policemen and Kabukicho's finest fighters goes tracking and/or find them...time is suspended. Under a tiny, comfy shelter.

_I'm a genius._

"Try those...hey, don't eat them all!"

Okita Sougo couldn't care less either about the blizzard outside and its wind battling against the window, or about still wearing his uniform.

"That's so delicious...more please!"

And he sure as hell doesn't want to remember those morons acting like five years old bullies in the school yard. Because, for one, _he_ is the master at bullying, a sad behavior for most decent citizens, a polished skill for a sadist, and two: those guys are third rate at best.

But tonight he hadn't been the bully nor did he try to be the smart ass. No, what he did was blend into the environment, waiting for Danna or the She-Gorilla or Four Eyes to hit first. Money was on the cabaret girl...so wrong, Shimura Shinpachi actually has balls...and Kondo-san took the blow. Bless his soul. Hijikata was next, then Zaki, then the rest of the Shinsengumi waiting outside the inn, the supposed neutral ground, Switzerland for an informal 'meeting' about the 'situation'.

Read: Yorozuya don't mix with Shinsengumi, aka "Bakufu sold outs, piece of dirty lolicons, Edo's number one nuisance with a hairy pervert leader." _Ah! Danna and his poetic prowess_.

After a very loud "Tch, you low-life useless bum! Who're you calling sold out?!" all of the men stood up like one bushi for the 'honor' of their organization...and Okita Sougo escaped through the mess, with _her_ and that monstrous stomach. And the food.

He chuckles under his breath, once a moron always a moron and there are plenty left at the inn.

"What?"

"Nothing, here..."

She smiles gorgeously, "Thanks!"

That was an hour ago and here he is, enjoying the view. _His_ girl, happy, her rosy cheeks shining because of the fire, flames reflecting in those foreign blue eyes, a color you couldn't find in Edo or Japan, perhaps even Earth. _His_ blue.

_I'm insane._

It's a sweet winter night and the moon is full.

_**o-o-o**_

"Let me see."

"See what?"

He has patiently waited for her to finish all the dishes until she ate her fill. Now taking her hand he drags her to sit closer to the window, that moonlight is perfection for her pearly skin. Even if you can't tell the difference, because under that sort of light anyone may look silvery pale, he knows this girl isn't like anyone. And strange questions keep popping in his head, has he developed a fetish for that sunless skin? Or is he just a pervert like every average man?

_Fine, either way it suits my sadistic tendencies._

"What the hell are you doin'?"

_Ah! Busted_. His eyes have been locked long enough on her bar arms and frail neck, watching every detail, and it's a wonder she hasn't beat him up yet.

"Your skin..."

She touches her arm frantically, looking for an anomaly, "What? Oi, you scaring me!"

"No...I like it, that's all."

She gives a skeptical glare and checks once again for the nonexistence disease, and soon her childlike pout diminishes when nothing catches her inspection, "Gaki, you're so weird..."

He can't help a smile at this point, "That's my line, China," And he isn't able to stare elsewhere, but her blushing face, making her almost uncomfortable on purpose. Almost.

A slap, "Stop that."

_No...not tonight. _Firmly taking her hands in his, entwining them, his gaze never fades and the more his grip tightens the more he discovers he doesn't want to let go. She tenses a little and that's enough to pull some senses in his dead brain.

"I'm not gonna do anything."

No response, her silence seems like an approval. She's too naive, it _was_ a lie just now, and he wants to do things, like...here and leans slowly, not to scare her, giving a kiss on the invisible frontier, right between her breasts. _That damn stupid dress!_ He closes his eyes, at this rate 'frustration' will soon be part of his daily vocabulary. How many times has he imagined her naked already?

The kiss is soft and chaste, but still bold. _Alright, punch me now._

But all he can feel is her hesitant hand sliding in his hair, which is odd and intimate, if it were someone else it would have been unsettling. But not with her, because being like this with someone he actually cares about is vastly different from what he has experienced until now...and because that day on the bridge, Okita Sougo realized how much he had been mistaken, believing that none of this would ever happen. There aren't many people in this world he would call friends, three is still the number, that's how suspicious he is. And yet, he didn't see it coming, washing over him like a wave washes over a rock, again and again until it leaves a mark, profound and impossible to erase.

Trust.

He encircles his arms around her waist, head reposing where his lips had kiss a moment before, "One day...I'm gonna tell you why I hate hospitals."

For that dung-beetle lover freak to be the only woman besides Mitsuba who he's willing to entrust his deepest emotions to, someone he thinks will actually be the last, the world must've gone nuts. Or only him maybe, as he can't fathom how he ended up there in the first place, and each moment shared together is a leap further on that path that frightens him to no end, precisely because he can't see how it will end.

"Oi gaki...why do you like me?"

Her voice snaps him back to a dying fire, blizzard, her warm body and that heart that beats so fast now, like an innocent girl.

"Do I?"

"Bastard!" A smack on the head, but a light one.

_Insane. And an asshole too..._But no, he won't, he can't do anything. And promises of endless love are also excluded. Because even if times of self-reflection are over, when 'should I or not' occupied his thoughts, he's not enough an asshole to lie, at least for now. Because Okita Sougo has made a choice on that bridge, just before she tore her azure dress and kissed him...and he'll stick to it.

_Hijikata you bastard, right again...Kondo-san and the Shinsengumi are over anything and anybody._

It doesn't matter if, indeed, _this_ is love.

He finally opens his eyes; awakened in confusion, strange for he doesn't remember sleeping. And that view again, the one that makes his heart and body weak...the moon lightening her skin. His hand slides along her thigh, "Oi...that knee is dangerously erotic..."

She freezes and stops caressing his hair, "Wha'?!"

Right now, he doesn't care about the future and sits straight, facing her pissed scowl and just, just to piss her even more...no, scratch that, just because he wants to...he kisses her. _His_ girl. On those lips, still tasting of sugary manjū, and then that leg, while his fingers lightly slip behind the knee, where the skin is softer. And that's what he wants the most, exploring all the sweet parts and there are many, because Yatos apparently have less scars than humans, or perhaps it's just her..._whatever_...under her ear, near the clavicle, the elbow...He's still clutching her hand, fearing she might escape a second time this night...but...she doesn't say or do anything, his gaze scrutinizes her face.

"Are you afraid now?"

"No..."

_**o-o-o**_

Few hours later, after Okita's informants received multiples jail threats and a Lake Toya waving too close to their faces, the morons finally find the hideout and the moon is already gone.

"Gin-san-" Shinpachi points at the empty futons, "-why are they sleeping on the floor?"

The silver ronin scratches his head, helpless, "Beats me..."

A smoky fog escapes from the semi darkness and the demon Vice-Commander sighs tiredly, "Alright, let's stop this nonsense...see, both are dressed...nothing happened here."

"How d'ya know that, Mayora? Usually after sex people are cold and put their clothes back on!"

"Gin-san, shut up!"

"Sleepless nights do you no good Yorozuya. Just look around."

"That's no proof, my innocent virginal Kagura has been soiled...I'm gonna slice him open!"

"SHADDUP!"

They jump, a vermilion head rises and a deathly aura suddenly surrounds them, "The innocent virginal me is still there and kicking...and you're disturbing my beauty sleep...OUT! All of you-aru!"


	14. Lay Down your Burden

**I like this chapter very much and hope you will enjoy it.**

* * *

_Wuxia: Chinese fiction with martial hero_

_Sheeta, Dola, Pazu and Muska are characters from the anime 'Castle in the Sky'. Kiki is the heroine of 'Kiki's delivery service'_

_Diaochan: O__ne of the Four Beauties of ancient China, a character of 'Romance of the Three Kingdoms'_

* * *

**Winter Stories, Part Three**

_**Lay Down Your Burden**_

* * *

The light becomes more accurate in spite of the darkness, a tiny glimmer among the acrid smell of dust and metal, one glow lost in the vast celestial vault that falls and falls unquestionably on the field of ruin. But this ethereal, adrift object is only a crystal that, strangely, has decided to land and melt on his eyelid and this sweet freshness makes his pain return.

Now the red iris defies the cold and dim night. So dim.

"...Dy-ing..." A murmur, his throat hurts too much and the rest of his young body is weakened, wounded and alone. No escape this time and this unlikely place for a grave, he can only despise it wholeheartedly.

_Kondo-san...I failed you._

Okita has only the sky to glare at, waiting for death on New Year's Eve amidst snowflakes and night, but regrets and fear won't dictate their law, his ego can't allow that.

_Stupid pride._ "I...am...bu-shi..."

If the explosion hasn't destroyed him surely the collapse of the remains of that old building will. And it falls.

_**o-o-o**_

Diiing Dong!

"KAGURA! Are you goin' to open that door?!"

The noises coming from all directions didn't seem to perturb the young woman and her contemplative stare. Although the ceiling isn't the object of her attention, she can see through it, through the sky too, her mind escaped some time ago. But 'thinking' isn't the right word to describe her state. It's only blank, dull, frustrated brooding.

_Grounded...what a joke-aru!_

She lets out a small sigh, the least she can do is to make it painful for Gin-chan, "I'm busy..."

From behind the toilet door, a screeching voice responds and Kagura knows _all _the neighbors can also hear, "I'M BUSY TOO, TAKING A DUMP! OPEN THAT DOOR!" It's true that it's been a while now that the bell is ringing, maybe a client? Another sigh and she gets up from the couch, at last, money _is_ valuable during those harsh, cold, winter days.

"Pff...Disgusting old silver man."

Ding dong!

"I heard that you ungrateful hormone-driven teenager monster! UNDERAGED...may I add!"

Her fists clench, "SHADDUP!"

_What a moron! Nothing happened_..._! _That's right..._technically_ she's still a virgin. _Argh_...She slams her hands on her face, a vain attempt at hiding the blush. _Don't...don't think about it! _Now there are two options and one includes crashing a toilets door. Either she confronts her tyrannical guardian with a punch and ends that stupid grounding stuff or...

Diiing Dooong!

_Grr..._"Fine...comin'..." It's probably Shinpachi and Anego, with food! That should lift her spirit if she knew who did the cooking._ Please be it Shinpachi, Shinpachi, Shinpachi. Wait! Why the bell?_ Dragging her feet in the most unenthusiastic fashion, she slowly, slowly slides open that darn door only to discover that her fist will meet someone else's jaw today. _Gin-chan, that's your lucky day!_

"YOU!"

"Surprise!"

As light as a feather, Kagura goes full Wuxia heroine and...CRASH!

"You baka...baka Baldi!"

_**o-o-o**_

_"...Sou-chan..."_

_Aneue..._

_"Sou-chan..."_

_Stop...Aneue, it hurts..._

_"Sougo..."_

_"Sou-chan, you fell from the tree and broke your wrist. It's all right now..."_

"Ane-ue...nee-chan..."

"SOUGO!"

When his eyesight focuses again, leaving the blur behind, he can see that the man's face is wet from tears. And worried too, but also smiling...a gentle, familiar face he recognizes the second it appears. _Savior._ _Mentor_. He hasn't lost it, his brain is in control and realizes what hurt and where, it's near his heart. He laughs, or tries at best, his lungs tearing themselves under a broken rib-cage.

"...Kondo-sa-san...I'm...im-immortal..."

_**o-o-o**_

"Save that old man some pain, I'm not getting younger you know?"

Trying to explain how conflicted her feelings are, how anger and happiness could exist on the same level before that elusive man, how she's been consciously restraining her joy since he set foot in Gin-chan's flat would only be the beginning. The whole story is actually the never ending saga of a dysfunctional family, whose members are, respectively: the most powerful Yato in the universe (the father), the second most powerful (the son) and (probably) the third. A reluctant Yato girl who, while growing up in exile, developed a deep rooted love-hate relationship to her kind. Not to mention her Papi _is_ an idiot!

She glares and glares and Gin-san is the lay back referee of their glaring contest taking place around the kotatsu, at his request. To be honest Umibōzu doesn't give much of a fight, he knows better than denying the plain truth.

"You suck Baldy! Why ya're comin' here NOW? What about my birthday? And Christmas? And what about that lame-ass Santa card you sent? I'M NOT THIRTEEN ANYMORE! SANTA AIN'T REAL! And Gin-chan is so broke I didn't have any presents!"

"Oi, leave me out of it! And what d'ya mean no presents!?"

"Noodle bracelets ain't a present!"

"What's that supposed to mean? I made it with all my heart!"

"SHADDUP!"

"Can I have your attention?"

They both turn their glares to the bald man, but instead of lashing out simultaneously, Gintoki and Kagura stay quiet, Papi's face isn't up to bickering anymore and looks awfully serious, "Please, I wish for you to think carefully about what I'm about to say Kagura."

Her fists clench, again._ I don't like this, I don't like th-_

"It was the first time an alien gave me that kind of beating and it took me three months to get back on my feet. Not pretty. Of course the freak ended up in pieces but that slimy thing still almost tore my other arm apart...See, this is why I didn't come earlier...I'm sorry, truly sorry. Kagura, I let you stay here with Sakata-san and Shinpachi-kun because I've always been a lousy father and had no right to force you to come with me while, myself, was unable to stay home and take care of your mother and you...Now I realize that I'm not invincible anymore, those times are over, I'm getting too old for that...I'm as old as Housen and look how he ended up. The passing days are becoming longer and the years go by more and more lonely...I ask nothing of you, I'm not forcing you to do anything, but...if your wish is still to become an alien hunter like this old geezer here, then you should know that Umibōzu needs an apprentice...and that your silly father would be the happiest if you ever accepted."

A solemn silence settles, entrapping them, she can't process all of what she just heard at once. Then, out of the blue, the phone rings and Gin-chan gets up, not glancing at her. Not once! And her brain is slowly getting back on track, Umibōzu has his eyes on the tea cup in front of him, as if expecting a sentence of life or death and Kagura doesn't know how to react before that vulnerable father.

_Gin-chan, what do I do?_

"Hello, Yorozuya Gin-san at your service, I'm warning you in advance it's double price on New Year's Day."

_What should I do? _She feels the tears coming, this is so unexpected...

"Kagura."

_Don't panic._

"Kagura...its Jimi."

This snaps her to reality, "Who?"

She looks at her human father with puzzled eyes and a dizzy mind...a bad feeling invades her at once. Gin-san is scratching his head nervously, but speaks so calmly, like if...if...

"Jimi...the tax robber."

_**o-o-o**_

"Toshi said you lost focus, otherwise you would've never entered the building alone. There were explosives everywhere."

"They went kamikaze on me. How should I've known?"

Drugged to numbness and it's all kind of odd how he still can manage to speak coherently, or speak at all for that matter. Sougo glances at the morphine drip, _that_ and the blood transfusion earlier must have been effective.

"That's their only way to try and kill you...a fair fight is their defeat, each time."

"Since when do we or 'they' play fair?"

Kondo laughs, "Never, but to take _you_ down it needs special treatment."

A flash and memories of that man blowing himself up in front of him sent a shiver through his bones, "Those shitheads have sunken really low...So who?"

Trying to lift the mood Kondo-san answers sheepishly, "People who hate you?"

_That's about right. _Okita smiles, "You mean...half of Edo..." But the grogginess is too strong and his eyelids are heavy, sleep is calling him and before long his head rolls slightly on the left. How many hours? He has no clue and now opening them is a struggle. The Commander hasn't moved from his chair and looks the same, with awful bags under the tired eyes, although it doesn't seem Sougo was passed out for that long.

Kondo is staring sharply, "You were calling after Mistuba-dono in your sleep." He freezes, embarrassed. This isn't something he wants to be public knowledge and he loathes the idea of showing any form of weakness in front of that man...

"I wish you could tell me about these things, I'm not only your Commander."

Sougo turns his head in the opposite direction, staring at nothing, his eyesight still clogged, "That's enough for me."

"Say it only once then...it's just the both of us here...say it to get it of your chest." _Gorilla, don't do this to me...I'm weak right now._

"I'm bushi..."

"Sougo."

His jaw clenches, "I'm a killer."

"No. You kill, but you're not a killer."

Kondo-san naivety knows no end. "All the same...I'm..._we're _different..."

"Toshi isn't a killer either."

That's the last straw, Sougo glares back at him, "I don't want to go there or talk about him...let a dying man have his peace."

But the Commander only grins devilishly, his fist knocking lightly on his head, "Baka...you're not dying!"

"Ouch...mah Kondo-san...so mean..."

"Love can be painful." Of course Gorilla wouldn't stop here, "But...think about it this way, it gave her precious memories and a feeling of plenitude."

Sougo inhales deeply, anger rising, that man is too persistent and so unfair, using this one time chance to torment him. Okita has had his share of wounds over the years as the first squad Captain of the Shinsengumi, but none of them were even remotely as worse as those. And the last time he felt so helpless was three years ago, in that same hospital. The last time he cried. "It ruined her life, remember how many times she refused other men...plaguing her best years and when finally..._finally_..."

"I know."

"She waited and waited...dammit..." Why can't he stop talking? _Stop already..._Drugs and everything...almost dying a few hours ago. He tries harder and swallows the lump in his throat, fighting back the tears. _Kondo-san, I hate you right now..._ "Sometimes I'm angrier at her than him, to let herself be a slave of those feelings...I won't be like this...And yet, in the end, I can't fault her..." _Because nobody can control that._

"I know..."

It's useless, his body is failing him and he feels it, slowly rolling down his cheek, "Then don't talk about it ever again."

_**o-o-o**_

"What the hell you're doing here?"

Gintoki looks around and spots the direction of the voice. He's leaning against the iron railing, smoking and surrounded by snow. The silver ronin approaches carefully, the dog might bite, "Same question."

Hijikata lets out a long breath instilled with nicotine, avoiding eye contact. "I fuckin' hate hospitals..."

That roof again, last time was..._Ah! That's right, last time was spicy and teary_...

"You?" Now Hijikata is glaring at him.

He sighs mockingly, still walking to the railing. Edo enveloped in a white coat is always worth the sight, "An alien hunter bald man came out of nowhere to steal my-" _daughter..._ "Employee..."

"Doesn't explain why you're _here_."

"My employee-ward came to see yours."

Hijikata crosses his arms on his chest; apparently the view doesn't interest him. "He's twenty one. An adult."

Gintoki grits his teeth, "Yeaah...'bout that, don't remind me, will ya?"

"Tch..." The only reply for a while, both lost in their thoughts and strangely both devoid of the urge to bicker or fight. After some time, when the cold threatens to paralyze his tongue, Gintoki speaks again and it's not without purpose.

"Now...see there's something I've always wanted to ask..." No reaction, he keeps going, it's more than possible Hijikata isn't even listening anyway. "It's about life altering events...or unavoidable destiny. I don't believe in that crap. Everyone makes their own. Whether it's the right path or the wr-"

"Stop babbling. Your point?"

Gintoki smiles, "Alright...if, let's say...a certain lovely, lovely woman you and me both knew, _you_ mostly, with a disturbing fondness for reddish spicy things...if she had, at that time...how to say...? One more month...or week...or even only one more day left..." He knows he's completely out of line, but goes on nonetheless, bold and nosy, Yorozuya...perhaps helpful in a twisted way. He's also one hundred percent positive, minus one, the punch is coming next, but Gintoki is a total sadist after all and drops the bomb, "…would you have married her?"

Hijikata's distant gaze and face are half covered by black bangs, his body stiffed and unflinching. But no fist, no yelling, nothing comes and he starts his walk to the staircase, "Guess we'll never know."

"Oi! Is that a-" The slamming door resonated in the freezing night, screaming like a strong 'yes'. Something the demonic Vice-Commander can't afford saying aloud and Gintoki knows too well why. There are things in life you _must_ keep to yourself and Gintoki doesn't even deign addressing the dark sky overlooking Edo, even if he also has something to brood over, alone on a hospital roof. His days as a guardian are coming to their end, something inevitable; he always knew that his wards would make their own way sooner or later. This, or they would actually return to their original nest.

"Mah...what a shitty New Year's Day."

_**o-o-o**_

The moment she entered the room his heart became heavy, she stared at his reddened eyes, but said nothing about it and Kondo-san slipped out with a laugh and went on directly greeting a grumpy man in the hall. His blood froze at the sight of the alien hunter, but when his eyes fell on the unusually quiet girl, he forgot that new development, or chose to.

A confrontation with the biological father seems unavoidable in the near future and shits are pilling up. _Just great_. She's wearing two long braids; he smirks at this incongruity because girlish looks don't suit her anymore. And his male instinct can't help thinking for a second that he should have gone all the way on that full moon night. "You look like Sheeta, nooo...Baba Dola, that's more like it."

Her face immediately transforms into that characteristic scowl, "Like hell! And you...you're...no, Pazu is nice and gentle. You're worse than Muska, it fits you well!"

Sougo stretches his arm with difficulty, speaking is easy thanks to morphine and other stuff, it's a little more complicated for the rest. She comes closer even if her face still shows confrontational feelings and he manages to pull on one braid, playfully. "Alright, _not_Lusheeta Toel Ul Laputa...I prefer Kiki anyway." Still quiet, she's observing the wound then his face again, probably boiling inside, wanting to know if he cried because of the pain. He did, but not from physical pain and he isn't ready to let his guard down with her or anyone else besides Kondo-san. Then, her umbrella catches his attention.

It's red and brand new. "You changed the color again...are you _that _inconsistent?"

Sighing and rolling her eyes she sits on the bed with little care for his comfort, hiding the weapon of almost mass destruction behind her, "No! That Baldi is an annoying old man, that's all." She lowers her head, eyes fixated on the white sheet, uneasy and so obvious about it, "I'll explain later."

"Why not now?" He wants to know.

"Because it's a long story."

"I have time."

She avoids his stare and sticks to it, "It's a present..." That's all, she won't say more.

Sougo doesn't insist, it's useless, he knows the extent of this kind of stubbornness because he shares the same. Instead, he grabs the umbrella and holds it firmly between his hands curiously intact from the blast. His katana lies on the other side of the bed, Kondo-san has always known him best, and no doubt the man put it here. He draws it enough for the blade to be free, and then he presses his thumbs on it until it bleeds.

"HEY! What the...are you mental?"

But Sougo continues his ritual and raises his hand over the umbrella, red drops falling on one single place, the blood forming a dot. When it becomes dry and invisible, only _they_ alone will know about its existence.

"Why did you do that?"

She looks at him with astonishment, perhaps even apprehension; he presses his hand against the sheet to stop the flow, still not looking at her, his face closed. Mastering that wall is his greatest asset along with his swordsman skill and it allows him to hide his turbulent state.

_I'm beyond insane. _"Commitment."

He knows he shouldn't and almost instantly regrets the word. And the gesture too. Exhaustion, drugs, pain...are all responsible for his lack of insight..._Who I am kidding?_

Commitment. This, however, is not a lie.

And the earth still spins like it should because it's all too fitting that he got himself a nutty girl. She grabs his sword before he can stop her and then, undoing her right braid, she cuts a handful of vermilion hair with it and bangs fall back on her forehead. Next she's making a vermilion knot around the hilt of his katana.

And that kind of defeat is less painful to take, "Oi China...I know who you look like."

She struggles with the knot, hair lacks elasticity and the view is becoming comical.

"Diaochan, the most beautiful woman ever?"

"Don't get carried away...I told you before, you're a dragon."

Finally done and she grins with satisfaction, gazing at her awful masterpiece, how is he supposed to draw that blade now? "I prefer to be a bird...or Mononoke Hime!"

"She-wolf? Fine by me."

Their eyes finally meet and a light blush graces her cheeks, "Baka gaki, so gullible."

"Right back at ya."

He's tired again, his attention span is getting slower..._Too much talking..._But before falling into limbo again he catches her fiery blue stare and sees a warning or a plea, he can't tell, "Never do that again."

But that's another promise Okita Sougo can't make and the reason why of all this is doomed.

_This._

A painful, beautiful, ineffable bond.


	15. OoS: What really happened and

_**Thank you very much for the kind reviews, C.A.M.E.O, Iloveallanime, Amzilla, 8ouji-rui and the others. Keeping them in character is a challenge, that's why some still haven't showed up because they're too difficult to write, at least for me (I'm looking at you Nobume and Kamui, damn nutcases!)...ok end of rambling...**_

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_**This one was on my desk for some times, I guess it'll fit here. Warning, OOS are (still) baka chapters...**_

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**Out Of Season**

**What really happened and what should've happened sooner**

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_Part one: Visit at the hospital, a story of M and S_

"I don't want to be reminded of a night I don't even remember…you're just making things up!"

"Really? _I_ remember very well…that's unforgetab-"

"STOP! I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT! I WAS DRUNK AND YOU…YOU…" She covers her ears dramatically, stomping her foot like a child.

"I what?"

"STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!" Sac-chan, a natural born actress.

He deadpans, "Why? I'm still not over that fiasco…all these years of hitting on you and the only time I get a chance to bed you…it fails."

"YOU WANNA DIE!? D'YOU KNOW HOW LETHAL MY SKILLS ARE? NUMBER ONE NINJA HITWOMAN IN THE CITY! RINGS A BELL!?"

"You're no fun…the number one masochist in the city should be fun…"

Finally she composes herself, perhaps it was because the nurse passing in the hall was throwing a dark look at her, "Your girlfriend came to see me, a while ago."

"Did she?"

"I told her the truth of course."

"Your truth or my truth?

"MY TRUTH IS THE ONLY TRUTH!"

"...'I don't want to be reminded of a night I don't even remember'... "

"Shut up!"

"Mah...she's gonna dump me now."

"Quite the opposite I think." She looks at him with that knowing smile. _Whatever_. Sac-chan's truth: both drunk, both silly, she's desperate about her unrequited love for Danna, he's bored and 'lonely' (Yeah, that's right, she used _that_ word and Okita shook his head in disbelief when she did)...she fell asleep when he dropped her on the bed; he watched comedy shows all night. Ok, the actual truth, indeed, and he laughed a lot.

"Why did you tell her about me?"

"I left an open window."

"Meaning?"

"An open window so she could get out, but she didn't. I was hoping she would freak out thinking of you and me…" He smirks sadistically, "You know…"

"Tch…! But she asked right away, straight to the point. She's no weak-minded airhead you know?"

It would be easier if she were an airhead, "Too well. But she's kinda naive...always has been."

"She's not anymore, stupid!" Sac-chan crosses her arms, her eyes narrowing behind those red glasses, "Men don't get it! Oh...one more thing, If you hurt her I'll slit your throat in your sleep. Tsuki and Tae-chan will gladly join in. D'ya get that."

"I liked you better when you were my counselor and I a rich Tayu. That's friendship."

"WHAT FRIENDSHIP? You delusional brat! Your only redeeming qualities are your face. Ah...! I miss Souko, she was sooo fun."

And Sougo executes his best phony smile ever, "Hate you too."

_**o-o-o**_

_Part Two: Young guys fall in love and middle age ones fall from a ladder._

Like that painter who had broken his leg two days ago and hired the Yorozuya to finish his work. Hasegawa-san also fell from the social ladder and never managed to climb back fully. Now a MADAO wears his sunglasses and 'climbing' doesn't seem to be part on his vocabulary anymore. Most of the time. But some days are better than others, like when he got that desk job a month ago.

Not today though, as MADAO fell on his way to a promotion when something hit his head. Of course he will be late and of course he will be fired. The fact that he was hit by a paint pot may be anecdotal, but this is Gintama, inevitably that paint pot belongs to a certain client whose legs is broken, thus its fall can easily been linked to a certain trio, or most accurately to a fight between two members of the trio over 'painting windows or not painting windows, that is the question.' All while the third struggling member was struggling to maintain peace.

And had enough of his straight character role. Again.

"I quit!"

"Patsuan…come on, we have the North front to finish…"

"Shinpachi, I'm hungry…go pick some food and don't forget Mommy's special!"

"I said I quit! WHO'S STUPID ENOUGH TO PAINT A FACADE IN WINTER? THAT'S SHITTY WRITING RIGHT THERE!"

(Tama Anpan: "Megane don't hurt my feelings! " - "You the shitty writer! You forgot to insert some random odd jobs in the story, didn't you? Admit it!" - "Yes...Mea culpa." - "And now I look as lazy as those two, it's reflecting badly on my character you know?!" - "It's an 'Out Of Season' chapter...you can make it as you wish, summer, spring..." - "TOO LATE!")

"Hurry up, Megane!"

"I SAID I QUIT! DAMMIT!"

"You always say things like that, but your acts don't follow, how pitiful…Megane."

"That's verbal abuse, nonstop…A good reason to quit, definitively."

"Didn't you say that last time-aru?"

A silence, then Shimura Shinpachi walks away.

"SHINPACHI! SHINPACHI...COME BACK!"

("Psst, Shin-chan?" - "What now!?" - "Time skip arc and Characters poll arc are among my favorites...and you're the _hero_ in it!" - "So? I'm still upset...well...it's nice though...thanks, I guess." - "Good, NOW GET BACK TO WORK!" **BAM!**)

"Shinpachi. What happened-aru?"

"I knocked out the shitty writer, let's drop that fake job and go drink a beer..."

"HUH!?"

"OI...Me...Megane..."

Shimura Shinpachi pushes his glasses up, a dark aura emanating from his bad-ass self, "Don't call me Megane..."


	16. Getsu

**_This chapter wanders near M-rated territories, you have been warned _;)**

**_Time to thank properly the followers and reviewers of this story without misspelling their names (I hope there are no mistakes!): 8ouji-Rui, Alena S. Anigor, Amzilla, C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only, Cm001, ForeverYorozuya, Gabiii25, Gurako-san, Hatsuyuki-chan, HiSaGa, Iloveallanime16, Immoral Kitty, Kurowizard, Lili-AnimeFreakk, Scarlet Shyne, ShiroTame, Tora-channn, Yohime, comin'god, flashdisk5, kaiko13, murasaki-no-ko, murasakiana and victoriqa._**

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_-'Getsu' means both moon and month_

_-Go is a __strategic b__oard game with black and white pieces, the objective is to surround more territory than one's opponent. 'Atari' is like 'Check' in Chess._

_-Haiku by Chiyojo _

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**Winter Stories, Part Four**

_**Getsu**_

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"Define..._desire_."

His eyes were calmly set on his target, although that sort of concentration isn't all that remarkable given the incredibly uneven positions. The young woman takes her time to carefully think of the answer as much as she could. "Uh...lust, with feelings."

He tilts his head to the left, re-thinking of where to place the stone, "Hmm...Not bad."

She grins inwardly, that was something she picked up from a TV show a few years ago, just before Gin-chan changed the channel and sent her to bed, and it curiously stuck in her memory. Her useless slacking around was finally paying off.

The white round object settles on its mark, "Define _eroticism_."

"Oi! I haven't played yet, you wacko!" Angrily, she places her piece on the right corner, at random and it was supposedly a safe move, that's when his stare pierces through her soul.

"Don't be a sore loser, you can _show_ me if you prefer."

She slowly smirks like a demon while showing...her fist. He retorts with a sly grin on his own face while pointing at the grid. She looks down, puzzled, and he sighs because beginners are a pain in the ass and a bore to play with, "Atari."

_Grrr_..."AGAIN?"

Yes, it is...and she remains still, fist hanging in midair. Kagura hasn't lost so many fights in a row since..._since..._Sougo snaps his fingers before her eyes, "Ain't life a bitch? Sooo..._eroticism."_

_I hate that bastard so much..._

In her most daring daydreams, eroticism has many scents and even more colors, all belonging to that man entrapped in bandages hidden under his yukata. There's too many ways to describe that word and her ego relentlessly knocks on her skull; _don't tell him, don't you dare tell him..._

"Lost in space, China?"

She shuts her eyes for a second. _Space..._This seems to amuse him, although there's no doubt the level of cockiness has dropped during his recovery. He's slightly less sadistic. A tiny, tiny bit less. Something that will inevitably lead to an increase of...She breathed out exasperatedly..._eroticism._

She risks a peek at his delicate yet masculine features and the rest of his body too, relieved that he isn't looking. This is the first time she's seen him this casual, and no, a hospital drug-induced sleepy gaze doesn't count_...Eroticism is..._She blinks_, _he has muttered something during her reverie and she didn't catch it.

"Huh?"

His voice is detached, even cold, "Moonflowers in bloom - When a woman's skin - Gleams through the dusk."

Cold and yet...it's about..._Wha'?_ Her eyelids flutter, "Repeat."

He does not. On purpose. _Less sadistic my a**!_ And he's still staring at that stupid game, enthralled by his own strategic genius; she agreed to play in the first place because she had no choice and Kagura fumes internally. She still hasn't told him about tonight, about the rest either. _Space_...She's staying here, the whole night, in his Shinsengumi room. The reason being that to her utmost surprise, the plan actually worked...

Few days ago, she reached her breaking point. For almost a month now, her Papi was living at the Yorozuya flat. He was always around and it was suffocating. She felt his looming presence and silent questioning about her future, about her odd haircut, about everything. The worse of it was that he constantly denied being the typical intrusive father and was actually quite outraged by any of her legitimate reproach.

He needs her, she gets it. And this is all there is about it. Quite simple.

But he lied to her face on New Year's Day, a family day. And before Gin-chan too, who hadn't said a word about it and acted like nothing was happening, like nothing was disturbing their fragile, messy, patched-up family. "You piss me off, Baldi..." She slammed the sliding door behind her with no intention of coming back anytime soon. Papi lied about the injury, it was less dramatic than the tale he told them, he lied to get her sympathy or whatever messed up reason adults come with to try rectifying their crappy parenting.

As if she needed that sort of bullshit to understand his loneliness...

Kagura found a refuge where even a powerful Yato like Umibōzu couldn't go to without creating massive trouble. At least she would have peace for a few days and maybe she would stop avoiding the elephant in the room.

"Gyah! Kagura-chan! Who? Tell me who!"

"Well..." She fidgeted awkwardly; it had been months since they saw each other, months since Soyo-chan had been locked again behind the Palace's high oppressive doors because of the sudden increase in bombing incidents, "That's a long story..."

After that, her best girlfriend pressed relentlessly until she spilled the beans. The story was punctuated with "Gyah!" and "No way, really? Okita-kun? How strange..." and concluded with, "Hmm...not that surprising after all. Oh! Is he a good kisser? Tell me! Please tell me!"

Kagura had been able to stay for three days at the Palace thanks to Soyo-chan and her new gained independence since she was eighteen. Nevertheless, one liberty will always be denied to the Princess; her free will in love matter, even harmless flirting is out of the question.

The last night of her 'vacation,' after nonsensical babbling, she talked about it again, "You're so lucky, Kagura-chan...I'm envious...How does it feels to be loved?" Soyo-chan might be a true sadist, but she asked with a genuine smile and shining eyes and the Yato felt blessed to have such a friend. That was when a plan was formed in her head and the ever so roguish Shogun's sister accepted with delight to be her cover. Soyo phoned Gin-chan the morning after, lying through her teeth and it worked.

Kagura craved to see _him_ because she also wished to know what it feels like to be loved...

"I'm waiting."

She hadn't seen the gaki often during this awkward period; in fact she'd only seen him very very few times, seven to be exact. And now that obnoxious bland voice reminds her of where she is and also why she's here_. _She illegally trespassed through that stupidly unguarded shitty tax robber wall just to be with that asshole. But the more she thinks about it, the more obvious it is, it perspires all over him, she can sense the distance even if he hides it. Okita Sougo, a hypocrite with double standards, who's pretending that it's alright for her be in this room, that he doesn't mind...and again she doesn't know how things went this way.

She almost feels like an intruder.

He fixates her with that arrogant smirk, how many times does she have to endure this? Has she lost her backbone en route from the Palace?

_Like hell!_ With a quick move, she brushes aside the black and white stones all around the tatami, destroying the game, strategy isn't her thing after all. Of course he didn't react. And instead of anger she feels a dejected helplessness. _What am I doing here? This is such a mess..._her mind, heart and mood...everything has been in shambles since she left home.

The men of her life continue to be an endless source of disappointment.

She quickly looks aside, wanting to cry, but tries not to, and her eyes fall on a katana with a vermilion hilt.

_A mess_...her sight gets misty and she feels pathetic. But before dark ideas can settle and dampen her mood for good, she can see it, his extended hand and here's her chance, now or never…Instinctively, she takes it.

He drags her swiftly close to him, she sits on his lap, her head reposing on his shoulder, and this is their first intimate contact in weeks. Her heart pounds so hard, it's strange to readjust to his warmth, his touch, his whole presence. And the only thing that passes through her mind is 'Why?' Why didn't he do that from the beginning? The instant she stepped in his room.

Her hand clutches into a fist around the sleeve of his yukata, "Sometimes…I really don't get you."

A small laugh escapes his lips, it's near her ear and it tickles, "You and me both."

"You should be complementing me...nobody saw me."

"I did."

"Stupid gaki...stupid booby trap!"

Another laugh, the more he does that, the more _distance _fades and the more she tightens her embrace.

"Oi China, your sore loser-ness has reached new levels, get ov-" She silences him with a heated kiss.

It's almost like their first, before they shared tender gestures and sensual looks. But it isn't, that ship sailed a long time ago. She doesn't even remember the time when he wasn't constantly on her mind. She breaks it, reluctantly, only to be able to fully see his striking face. Those eyes, that scar and more. He wants to say something, but she presses a finger before her smiling lips to shush him, "Don't ruin it..."

She feels the flush coming on her cheeks as she tries to disrobe him and the burning gets worse when he starts undoing the top of her qipao. _Of course he would…_But he struggles too and that's a surprise, they're both nervous and she wonders if it's the distance he set between them earlier, using Go as a retreat, it wasn't because he knew exactly why she came. But that trail of thought melts away when he gives her a quick kiss; pressing, but tender at the same, "No need to blush now."

Easy to say, they're both bare chested now. With a rare delicacy he takes a lock of her long hair then drops it carelessly, it overlaps on her left breast, and his hand was just barely touching as if it might burn his skin.

Its uncharted territories and she panics, suddenly holding him harshly without a second thought for his wound, pressing again his torso until the electrifying sensation of their flesh doesn't scare her anymore, until it isn't foreign anymore, until it's the most natural thing to feel. And when his hand slides on her back, the tensed weight that was accumulated on her shoulders disappeared, erased instantly by that callous palm.

But not for long. He pulls on her hair violently, "It's great that you're all passionate, but-" His voice sounded menacing, she can also feel his stiffed body and when turning slightly to face him...he also _looks_ the part.

Right now, snapping his neck seems like the _natural_ ending to this, but he goes on, "-first degree murder during intercourse won't be pretty on your CV."

_What the...? That jer_- She freezes, eyes widening and finally realizes. She immediately relaxes the muscles of her legs and can see relief washing over his face, he also breaths better and winces too when she shifts.

Okita glares fiercely, "SM play has rules and there is no way in hell I'm gonna be the weak part."

She slaps him, hard, "No way in hell there's gonna be 'play'. Period. You pervert piece of shit!"

He grits his teeth then tries giving a smile, a failure, it's a sadistic rictus, "Now...who's ruining it, _Kagura_?"

She almost hit him, but controlled herself at the last second, because that manipulator asshole has chosen this exact moment to call her by her name for the first time since they met. _Unbelievable_! And the worst of all are the kisses and soft touches that weigh more in the balance, even if the other side tries its best to catch up.

They glare endlessly, stubborn to the core, half naked and very much longing to kiss and strangle each other equally.

_Grrr_..._She_ came here. It's her choice, her will and she'll do what she wants. She slams her fist on the tatami, "Rule number one: no hair pulling and anything violent or I'll cut your balls...just...just tell me if I go overboard."

His eyes narrow with a conceited enjoyment, "Number two: no slapping and anything violent or no sex at all."

She snorts, "As if..." She's pretty sure that it was an empty threat. Lowering her gaze, she looks at what's hidden under his cloth. But he doesn't depart from that arrogance, hence to make her point she reaches for it, but he catches her wrist with a smack and blazing eyes, "Number three: except the two above-" And then, he gently places her hand where she intended, "-no rules."

She pulls away, blushing even more. And he smirks even more. _I'll win this..._"Number four-" She shoves him on the tatami, her last violent action. His head smashes on lost black and white stones while a vermilion cascade falls around his face, mixing with the sandy color of his hair, blending together like a protective curtain. Her voice grows softer, "-no useless talking anymore..."

She's watching carefully as his mask slips, revealing the infinity of emotions behind that raw, deep crimson gaze and Kagura feels bold enough to decide at this moment that she will abandon herself completely. Because if she doesn't, tomorrow and the days after will only be filled with futile regrets.

Because she's not a girl of half-assed feelings.

Under her own intense stare, he strokes her strange-shape bangs, and then caresses everywhere impatiently, but also smoothly, something she has to learn too. And even if she's clumsy, shy and unpolished...it doesn't matter, for he doesn't care either.

_Desire_ has no definition.


End file.
